An Echo From the Past
by AnnieCat
Summary: Vader's search for the force sensitive pilot who destroyed the Death Star brings joy, and pain. Finding out his child by Padme survived leads to questions, resentment of Sidious, and memories of a past he thought his mind had buried. Will this change him?
1. Chapter 1

"WHAT?" Vader yelled in shock, tilting his head up to see what had hit him. He couldn't believe it. He had wiped out every rebel aircraft he had aimed at, except that one, the x wing with the pilot who was so strong with the force. Even so, he had had him in his sights and was pushing the button to take him down too when this jolt came from nowhere! Vader felt his ship spinning at a high speed, out of control. Through dizzying spins, he saw his wingman hit the side of the trench and explode. There was only one quick view of the ship that took him from behind, but he was too busy saving his own life now to consider it. Pulling from all his knowledge of flight, and the force itself, Vader struggled to stop his spinning Tie fighter. No one knew this vehicle better than him, he had designed it. Now he only had a few seconds to...what was that?! It can't be! But it was. As his craft spun round and round, he saw something he couldn't rightly register as true- the enormous, powerful Death Star, the ultimate weapon it had taken the Empire twenty years to finish, was gone in a flash of tiny sparkles of light. Completely disentigrated. Gone.

Vader was reeling from that, but still had to maintain his composure long enough to steady his ship. He pulled on the controls again with all the strength in his metal arms, and the force within him. Ah, there. He could feel the spinning slowing. Now he could maneuver it properly. He straightened it out, right side up, flying in the correct direction. He let out a sigh of relief that overrode his breathing mechanism. He looked out the window. Nothing but stars. Behind him, there was only Yavin. The Death Star did not exist anymore.

He searched his overloaded mind to make sense of it all. So the Death Star was destroyed. He could feel in the force the loss of all the life on board, some he regretted would be no more, others, like Moff Tarkin, he was glad to be rid of. He felt no remorse for this thought. After all he was a Dark Lord of the Sith, why should he? The thought did briefly cross his mind that his master, Emperor Palpatine, would be most displeased with this and somehow blame him. But no, this was Tarkin's fault! He, Darth Vader, was out in his TIE fighter doing all he could to stop the attack, and if those inside were too inept, that was not his fault. He thought of those who had called the Death Star the ultimate power of the universe, and how they had scoffed when he told them it was insignificant compared to the power of the force. He gloated now, knowing he was right. It was the force that had destroyed the Death Star, the force being used by the pilot of that rebel X wing.

Then, as he had a peaceful moment to reflect now that his fighter was no longer in danger of crashing or spinning helplessly into deep space, thoughts flooded his troubled mind. 'Who was that pilot? If all the Jedi are gone, and only two Sith remain, who is this who is so strong wtih the force, and how did he become that way? I must find out.' Staring out into the empty black space with only a few stars ahead, something else came to him. His memory now replayed the scene from his dire situation a short while before. He retrieved the image of the ship that shot him from behind as he pursued the force sensitive pilot. It was a Corellian freighter, a common design, but most recently seen on the Death Star! Inside his mask, he snarled his mouth and gritted his teeth. His hands clenched into fists of rage. "OBI WAN! That was the ship that carried Obi Wan onto the Death Star!" So it must mean something that a person connected so strongly to the force was connected to his old master. Obi Wan was now dead, and by his own hand, much to his satisfaction. But, could it be, his legacy was not gone? Who was this person who shot at him, and why was he helping the pilot who was using the force, and why had he transported Obi Wan Kenobi to save Princess Leia? How were these things connected? Was Obi Wan training some new Jedi, was that possible? As soon as he found a safe place to take his TIE fighter, he was going to have to investigate. This was bigger news in the force than Vader had known of since the Jedi purge years ago after he became the Emperor's apprentice. There was a new disturbance in the force, he could feel it. Things were about to change, and he was going to be involved.

Vader flew on, out of the area of Yavin. He was sure that now the Imperial cruisers anywhere near would soon mount an assault on the rebel base there, but they did not need him. He had witnessed the end of the montrosity called the Death Star, and barely escaped with his life. A shiver went through every remaining human part of his body to realize just how close he came to his end. Had he been on the Death Star, he would now be one with the force. Had his out of control aircraft gotten much closer to the explosion, he'd have gone with it. He was also very fortunate to spin out of the trench at the angle that he did so he did not suffer the same tragic fate as his wingman who hit the side and blew up. He wasn't just glad to be alive, he felt there was some significance in this, a reason for him to be alive. Why was he spared? Was it all chance, or did the force have something else in mind for his life?

He did not look forward to meeting with the Emperor. He feared his wrath. He would delay this inevitability as long as possible. He entered Coruscant airspace amid gloom, rain and heavy clouds that now reflected the mood of the Empire itself. While far from defeated, it had suffered a major setback. The Death Star had taken twenty years to complete and was lost in a second. Vader landed his Tie fighter and entered the Emperor's headquarters with much dread. His boots stepped heavily and slowly toward what he wanted so badly to avoid. He was just going to have to deal with it. The Emperor was the one being in the universe he could not do away with because it suited him, though there were times when that thought did enter his mind. He did not deny to himself that sometimes he was weary of calling someone else 'master' and would dispose of the old Sith Lord and rule for himself. With a new apprentice. Until now he had no prospects for this, since he had not found anyone else who was of the force. Until now. Though he knew this new pilot was a rebel, it was not impossible that he could be turned, as he had been. Time would tell if this was going to be an option. For now, he had to do all in his power of the force to keep Lord Sidious from reading his thoughts and feelings on this matter.

Vader entered the Emperor's throne room, his home base when he was in Coruscant, which seemed to be most of the time now that he was older. He looked up at the familiar form, the craggy old hands clutching the arms of his chair, hood hiding the hideous face and rotten teeth. Vader often wondered why Sidious did not seek to wear a mask to conceal his grotesque face. It was not always a welcome sight for Vader. He sometimes held his master in contempt. He was doing so right now as he angrily and resentfully bend to one knee and lowered his face before him.

"You may rise, Lord Vader."  
"What is thy bidding, my master?"  
"Lord Vader, I am distraught at the loss of our powerful weapon at the hands of rebel scum. Can you explain to me how this occured, since you appear to be the only survivor?"  
Vader didn't know what to say. He knew what he wanted to say, that he had been right about the force being stronger than technology, but to do that would reveal to Sidious that another force user was alive and active in the galaxy. He wasn't sure he wanted to do that yet. It was not to his advantage, and his own advantage always came first.  
"Master, one of the rebels was able to make a lucky shot into the reactor and it exploded. It was a fluke, that's all. It does not diminish the power of the Empire. This will not happen again."  
"Again? It will take us years to reconstruct a new Death Star, though now that we know how it will not take as long as before. We will begin within days, I still retain the original plans. Lord Vader, why is it you were not aboard when it was struck? Did you flee in fear? You always held too much fear for your own good."  
Vader was raging. His blood boiled hotter than it had since Mustafar. Inside his mask, his blue eyes turned to Sith yellow as they stared at the older Sith Lord with much hatred. Vader was glad that his face was covered by the mask so that the Emperor could not see the rage and contempt in his eyes and on his face.  
"No, Master, I had left the space station in my custom Tie fighter with two wingmen to cover me. We had seen on the screens that several rebel fighters had broken off from the main group and were heading for the area where our Death Star was most vulnerable. I took it upon myself to lead the fighter squadron against the rebel attack. In doing so, I put my own safety at risk. I had destroyed many rebel fighters before that last one was able to get off his shot of unusual good fortune. I had him in my sights on my computer when..." he paused a second, trying to think if he wanted to tell the whole story to the Emperor or not. No, he did not. Another thought quickly came to him. He was using his targeting computer. The other pilot was using the force. That made the difference.

But he was not going to mention this, he would keep it to himself, but consider it and store the experience away for further reference. The Emperor noticed his gaze drift away to the window and could tell Vader was lost in thought. He shouted to him."Well?"  
Vader snapped out of his daze and faced his master again. "I almost had him, but he shot a second before I did. Please accept my deepest apology for my failure." He lowered his head again.  
"What a pitiful excuse for losing our prize possession! If you were not so important to me now that Tarkin and so many others are lost, I may just punish you greatly."  
"Yes, my master." The words stuck hard in his throat. He was so tired of bowing down and kissing up to Sidious,but it did not serve him well to admit it now. His time would come. "I am sorry, my master. I did all I could. I will continue to do what I can to serve you and to speed up construction of a replacement space station."  
Sidious managed a gnarled smile. "Perhaps I have been too harsh. I admire your attempt to stop the rebels, you did not have to risk yourself in air battle the way you did. If you had remained on board, you would also be lost. The force wants you to remain among the living, Lord Vader, I have searched my feelings and know this to be true."  
Vader knew it too, but not for the same reasons Sidious was thinking. He had done well to conceal his thoughts from him, now he must continue or all would be lost.  
As Vader was taking his leave, Sidious called out to him again. He turned around to face the Emperor. "Lord Vader, this event has been a crushing blow not only to our Empire, but to my health. I will be leaving here today for a few days at a spa back home on Naboo. In that time, make it clear that I am not to be disturbed, by anyone. I need to recuperate and use the force to help heal my physical form."  
Vader was having a hard time controlling his thoughts, afraid Sidious would read them. 'Sick, is he? DIE you old bastard, and leave me free to rule the galaxy' No, he must perish that thought from his mind, it must not be sensed. The Emperor must have no doubt in his mind as to his loyalty to and approval of him. This is the way it must remain for now.  
Sidious continued to speak: "Do not feel this a time of vacation and relaxation for you, Lord Vader. No, there is much work for you to do. I will leave it to you to oversee the gathering of information about this rebel attack, who was responsible, and how we can destroy them. I will expect a full report upon my return."  
"Yes, my master." Vader did not regret this assignment, so he did not struggle to say the words this time. He would now be able to discover who this force sensitive person was, without interference from Sidious. Vader felt very pleased, and couldn't wait to get started.He followed Sidious to the spaceport and bid him farewell as he went on board. Vader stood and watched as the ship flew away. As soon as Sidious's spacecraft disappered through the heavy clouds above, Vader ran to begin his investigation.


	2. Chapter 2

II

Vader took a shuttle up to the Executor, which had just come out of hyperspace. He spoke to one of the officers whose job it was to spy on the rebellion. "What of the rebels on the Yavin base?" he asked.  
"Gone, My Lord. Either destroyed, or fled. They are much too clever to remain there, now that they know we are aware of them. We must search for their new locations."  
"Do you know who it was who destroyed the Death Star with a single shot?"  
"No, sir, we only know it was a rebel pilot. He was in an X wing fighter. Vader shook his helmeted head and rolled his eyes inside his mask, sighing heavily. "I KNOW that, I was there! I was flying right behind him you know. I saw the whole thing."  
"I am sorry, I was not aware of that." He shivered in fear Vader would put the choke hold on him. He gulped, then breathed in relief when he didn't use the force on him.  
Vader was frustrated. If this guy didn't even know he was flying combat in the battle, how was he supposed to know who the rebels' pilot was?  
"Sir, this is all we have gathered." He handed Vader some discs that could be played in any video device. Not holograms, but video displays.  
Vader took them in his hand, glanced down at them, then back at the officer. "Thank you, I will retire to my private quarters to view these at my leisure."  
"Yes, sir, if I can be of any further assitance, let me know." Vader didn't answer, he just turned on his heels and strutted away carrying the info. The officer froze in attention, and total fear, until Vader was gone.

Darth Vader made his way as quickly as possible to his quarters where he could examine the information undisturbed. He went into his chamber and closed it tightly to keep out any unwelcome eavesdroppers. Now that he was alone, he removed his helmet and mask and reclined in his adjustable chair. It was always better to watch things like this without the mask on, he could see details and colors better with his own eyes. Nothing was better than taking that infernal mask off for awhile. This was nice, he thought. He inhaled the special air of the chamber, where he did not need assistance breathing. Though his face could never get fresh air again because he couldn't remove it anywhere else, this was better than nothing. His skin was now horribly pale and unhealthy looking, having been inside the mask so long now. His poor scarred, hairless head bore deep marks from holding the heavy helmet up for what was now almost 2 decades. He had gotten more used to his burden over the years, but he was never any happier about it.

Vader put one disc in his video player and watched as it flicked on the big screen above him. It was an intercepted rebel message, declaring victory to other alliance members, announcing the destruction of the Death Star. He fumed as they laughed in cocky voices about what a setback it must be for the Empire. He was so angry, he wanted to kill the men in the video, but he knew he couldn't just sit there and force choke anyone in the universe by proxy. If he ever saw them in person, they were dead men for sure! He ejected it, and played another. It was too fuzzy to be of any use, both the picture and sound were garbled by a bad transmission signal. Next. He tried 2 more, nothing of any use here. Then the last one. At first, there was nothing but a dark screen. He almost gave up, thinking it damaged. Then the picture materialized. It was a young man, very young and innocent looking, with soft, shaggy blond hair, pouty lips and huge bright blue eyes. Vader stared at him. Where had he seen this boy before? There was someting about him. Was he going to speak? Yes, he did start to speak, but the cheap rebel signal was so bad, the recording was worse! Then it came clearer. The boy was being interviewed by some fellow rebel pilots.  
"So, Luke, you're the man today, huh?" One of them slapped him on the back.  
"Luke" responded, shyly looking down and grinning. "You know, I did it for the cause, anyone would have done the same"  
"Don't be modest, Luke, you were incredible! We'd all have been destroyed if not for you. No one else could touch that Death Star. You are an amazing pilot.Where did you learn to fly like that?"  
"It was Beggar's Canyon, back home..."

Vader froze the frame right there. Beggar's Canyon, that was on Tatooine! His home planet! This boy was from there? And, the Corellian freigher had departed Mos Eisley before it came to be on the Death Star, and, it was carrying Obi Wan Kenobi! There must be a connection! He knew it! He stared at the paused image of the blond boy for a few moments more, then continued the recording.

The other pilot inquired more of his piloting skills.  
"Is that all, you were never professionally trained? You are a gifted pilot on your own!"  
"Aw, don't know about that." Luke mumbled. "Maybe it runs in the family. I am told my father was the best star pilot in the galaxy."  
Vader was shocked to hear this. No, it couldn't be, HE was the best and everyone knew it! Who was this boy's father to claim such a thing?  
"Luke, your father was a pilot too? Did he teach you?"  
Luke glanced away sadly. "No, he died before I was born. He was killed by, ..he died at the end of the Clone Wars. He was a Jedi Knight."  
"A Jedi Knight?"  
A JEDI KNIGHT??!! Vader froze the image and stood up in his chamber at those words. The child of a Jedi, that explains how the force was with him. But who? Obi Wan! This must be Obi Wan's child! He was the last of the Jedi, or at least the last of the human Jedi, this had to be his child. He was hiding him on Tatooine all those years, training him to be a Jedi. But, who was the woman? When did Obi Wan take a woman? It must have been a tart from Mos Eisley. No, that was not like Obi Wan. But he himself had turned to the dark side after being a Jedi, so who's to say what changes Obi Wan might have gone through in his years of seclusion? Vader studied the face of the young pilot again. YES! That was the boy he saw, ever so briefly, on the Death Star, who had screamed "NO!" when he killed Obi Wan. No wonder he was so upset, Obi Wan was his father. He had only had time to glance over at the shouting boy for a second, but searching his memory he did look much like this boy, same height, same hair, same voice. This must be it. The son of Obi Wan Kenobi. He has the force, so he must have had training and was on his way to becoming a Jedi. Too bad for this boy Obi Wan was dead and could not help him now.

Vader sat down again, but could not stop staring at the screen, trying to see young Obi Wan's features in the boy's face. He searched his feelings. The force was not agreeing with him that this was Obi Wan's child, but there was no other conclusion. Then he stopped again. Wait a minute, didn't he say his father was killed in the Clone Wars? Obi Wan wasn't killed, it must be the child of some other Jedi, trained by Obi Wan. This boy appeared to be just the right age to have been born about the same time the Clone Wars ended and the Empire came to rule the galaxy. The same time he turned from Anakin Skywalker to Darth Vader. But who else among the Jedi could have been that force strong, and that good of a pilot? He tried to recall the other Jedi. Surely this boy's father must have looked something like him. He tried to think of all the human Jedi he knew with blond hair and blue eyes and a handsome face. Were there any Jedi who looked like that, besides himself in his original, unmaimed form? He couldn't think of any. Then he told himself, why not just finish playing the video and find out? Of course. He hit the button and allowed it continue.  
"So you are the son of the best star pilot in the galaxy, and a Jedi knight? That is quite a pedigree to be proud of! Tell us, Luke, who was your father? Is he someone we'd remember?"  
"I don't know much about him. I grew up kind of sheltered by my Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru on Tatooine, they didn't talk much about him, like they didn't want me to know." Vader stiffened again. _OWEN AND BERU_?? Weren't they the people related to the man his mother had married? They were related to this boy?  
"They didn't want you to know about your own father? WHY?"  
Luke shook his head. "I don't know. I remember my Aunt Beru would always go, 'Luke's just not a farmer, Owen. He's got too much of his father in him.' and Uncle Owen would glare at her and say "that's what I'm afraid of."  
"Afraid of what?"  
"Ben told me he was afraid I'd follow him on some idealistic crusade."  
"Ben?"  
"Ben Kenobi. He was my father's friend, a Jedi Knight too. They served together in the Clone Wars. He was very helpful to me until he, died, recently."

Vader's shock continued. Ben Kenobi must be an alias for Obi Wan, as he hid in the desert to escape Order 66 and train this boy to be a new Jedi, a Jedi sent to defeat the Empire- him. He must find and kill this boy, this son of a Jedi. But who, he was friends with Obi Wan, he served with Obi Wan, who else had? And Jedi were supposed to be celebate, and free of attachment, who had a child? Vader couldn't believe how much info this simple, poorly made video had revealed. He once again let it continue.  
"I'm sorry about your friend, Luke. But he taught you well. And you father, the star pilot and Jedi knight, certainly favored you with some very special genes. Good luck, Luke. We salute your deeds and look forward to your next adventure."  
Vader scowled. His next adventure? If he had anything to do with it, it would be his last!  
The other pilot shook Luke's hand and waved as he walked away. "Thank you. There he goes, our new hope, our hero, Luke Skywalker."

SKYWALKER! Vader's mouth and eyes stuck wide open. His heart commenced beating very fast, much faster than his weak breathing. If he'd had the mask on, his breathing regulator would have short circuited. His natural body reactions took over. It took awhile to comprehend. Was it true? He was paralyzed with surprise. He knew what this meant, unlikely as it was. There could have been no other Jedi Knight named Skywalker, who served in the Clone Wars with Obi Wan Kenobi, who had inlaws on Tatooine, who was the best star pilot in the galaxy. _It's YOU_, he told himself. _This is_ _MY SON!_

Though over the years he had convinced himself he was only Darth Vader, and not Anakin Skywalker, he knew that was the name of his true self, and he could not deny the old life he had once lived existed. Apparently, this old, long gone life had produced a son. That is why he was so strong with the force, and such a good pilot. Vader was too proud and excited to be angry. This was his son, the product of his body, with his midichlorian count, his skill, his power. He would not kill him, he would find him, and use him to help him overthrow the Emperor. Then, a second thought, WAS it his son? How was this possible? How could he have had a son, and not remember?

The answer came not in words or pictures, but in a feeling. He didn't remember, because he had tried so hard to forget.


	3. Chapter 3

III

Vader turned off the video and sat there for a few minutes staring at the blank screen. He caught a glimpse of his reflection in the glass. His eyes were blue again.

He searched his memory, and everything else was there. His childhood, his days as a Padawan and Jedi, the Clone Wars, Obi Wan and Mustafar. But something was missing, something important. Whatever it was, it hurt so badly he had tried very hard to supress it. What this was had to do with the mother of his son, and he knew it must be terrible or he wouldn't have tried to hide it. After all the acts he had committed as Darth Vader over the last twenty years, hwo could anything bother him so much? This was not like Vader at all. It must be, no. He had to stop thinking, and feeling, like Anakin Skywalker. But whatever had occured had obviously involved him. While he could not conjure any memory of this woman he must have loved, not even a flash of her face or her voice, he did have a feeling, the feeling that tried to break through, it was a tender one, but was lost in so much pain it held back. He knew that if he were to learn the truth about his son, he would have to now face it.

Darth Vader put the disc with Luke on it in a special place in his chamber. This was his, for no one else's eyes, ever. No one else in the Empire would ever know of this. He would keep this secret from Sidious, and anyone who would tell him. This was to his own advantage, as well as Luke's. He put his mask and helmet back on, opened his chamber, and took the other four discs back to the man who had given them to him."Were they of any use to you, my Lord?""Rubbish. The rebels have very poor transmitters and signals, it's a wonder they can function at all. Nothing of any use to the Emperor here." He slammed them down.  
"I am sorry, sir. What shall we tell The Emperor?"  
The officer looked down at the stack Vader had returned. "But sir, this is not all of them. I gave you five, these are only four in number."  
Vader shot an evil glare at the man he could feel through the mask. "No, there were only four."  
"My Lord must have misplaced one, as I am certain there were five, sir, I know it, I count..."  
He felt Vader's choke at his neck. Not with his hands, but only the force itself. Vader was going to have to dispose of him now, he knew too much. He would tell. But then he realized if he turned up dead there would be more questions. No. He wouldn't kill him. But as the same time he released the choke hold, he used the force another way, to manipulate his mind.  
"There were only four discs." Vader repeated.  
He stared back at Vader, ghostly pale, and repeated his words. "There were only four discs."  
There, he was as weak minded as Vader had suspected, and the old Jedi mind trick worked. All too easy. "If the emperor asks, what shall I tell him?"  
Vader cocked his head sideways and stared at him. "Tell him this is all we found, and we will keep looking."  
"Yes, Lord Vader. I will create a montage of what is salvagable of these and present them to his highness upon his return."  
"You do that. Do nothing without consulting me first, I am the one he has placed in charge of this mission to find Skywalker. And in the meantime, until he returns, his highness is not to be disturbed. All messages for him must go straight through to me."  
"Yes sir."

Vader turned sharply and walked away, leaving the man again in fear for his life. Vader had a bit of fear too, fear of Sidious finding out about Luke, fear of Sidious condemning him again as a failure for not giving him the info he requested. But how was it his fault if no one in the Empire was capable of finding anything? He would NEVER tell the Emperor about what he discovered. If in time he came to find it on his own, he would play dumb like it was news to him. Meanwhile, he could search the galaxy for Luke. He knew this would not be easy, he, as second in command of the Empire, would be high on the list of people to avoid for Luke and his companions. It may take awhile, but the time would come for him to reveal to Luke the words he so longed to say, _"Luke, I am your father."_

Vader's head was aching. He had been though quite an ordeal, and had been reeling from the news. The news of the Death Star's loss, the Emperor's displeasure, and now the evidence that he had a SON- alive and force strong and loose somewhere out there! He walked around the Star Destroyer, piddling with things that didn't matter, staring out the windows with his hands behind his back. The gasseous nebula was especially large today, what kind of calamity could have caused that? It was light years away, and they need not concern themselves with it. He had more important things on his mind.

He didn't know where in space to look for Luke, he just knew he had to find him now. It was going to be hard to get anyone to know he was looking for Luke without alerting the Emperor, but he was going to have to do it. Was it possible for him to do this search behind the emperor's back? He was going to take it as far as he could. But it still bothered him he could not remember how this son came to be born. He wanted to go back to his chamber and medidate to search his feelings on the topic. Surely something would come. What made him forget, and why?

Just then one of the Imperial military messengers came running up to him. "Lord Vader, the Emperor has sent you an urgent message. Since all messages must go through you, I must leave it up to you, as you wished.Vader did not even want to turn away from the viewport to respond. WHY couldn't Sidious just leave him alone? Would he ever be free of him? Vader answered only with a nod of his helmet, and went to watch the hologram Sidious had sent.

He looked upon the image with total loathe and disgust as it materialized. That voice, how grating to him. He had tried for so many years to be loyal to his 'master' and now he wondered why he ever was. There were times when nothing else mattered, but lately, something was happening to him, from the inside. He knew Sidious could kill him for being disloyal, so he dared not question his authority. He couldn't help hoping something was going to happen to break him out of this situation. What had happened in his life that had led him to a life of devotion to this montrosity? Was that connected to how he forgot about his son? Had Sidious done something to his mind? He didn't even know the answers. He only knew that Sidious was demanded he come to Naboo immediately and bring the info about the rebels. Vader squeezed his artificial fists together until he could hear the gears in his arms straining. _That big mouth on the bridge, he told him! Ran and told him right away! What if he_ _told the emperor about the missing disc? What if he was only faking when he fell for the Jedi mind trick? If Sidious said anything to him about it, that man was dead, he'd use the force to drop him on the spot. _He went back to the same officer to see if he acted suspicious around him. Vader tried to read his reactions that way but he seemed no different than he always was. Perhaps he was just as stupid and and weak minded as he had him figured for. "Pepare my shuttle, I must leave for Naboo at once. Alone.""Yes my Lord."

As Vader traveled toward Naboo, strange thoughts filled his mind. What was it about that planet? He hadn't been there in ages. Why did it hold such a melancholy feeling ? Why was the very name of it tugging at something deep inside him? He hoped being on the planet again might give him some clues.

He flew on. Whatever had occured at the gasseous nebula seemed to be resolved now. But there was much more to be resolved for Darth Vader.

Vader felt something tug at him the moment he came through Naboo's atmosphere, but could not place it. Something was here, some serious answer to his questions. He met the Emperor at the spa, just as he had requested, and entered his private suite at his request. He averted his eyes when he noticed that he had not fully covered himself with his robe. "You may enter, Lord Vader." Vader turned back and saw a damp yet totally clothed Sidious standing in front of him. "These mineral waters do me much good, what a pity you are unable to partake in such comfort in your condition." Vader did not answer him."Being here on Naboo again brings back so many memories for me, as I'm sure it does for you."  
"Should it?"  
"I would be surprised if it didn't, considering the events of your past. That foolish woman, how dare she think she could oppose me? She got what she deserved."  
"What woman do you speak of? A woman from Naboo, that we both knew?"  
Sidious stared at him. "Yes, yes, of course. Now, come with me. I will take you there."  
Taking all of Sidious's personal belongings, they made their way back to the ship. But they weren't going home yet. Sidious directed him where to go next, on the same planet.

Vader looked down on the landscape below as it flew by. The mountains. The waterfalls, what was it about them that captivated him so? Where was the Emperor taking him? Had he been here before? It all looked so familiar. The answer felt so close he could reach it, but it wouldn't come. They stood at a monument, and read it humble inscription to a woman who had lived and died, much too young. She had apparently been a person of notoriety to the locals, once a queen, died a senator. Padme Nabierrie Amidala. Was that name buried in his subconscious? He searched his feelings and knew that it was, but still, no image, no connection of recognitioin could manage to burst its way to the surface. He turned to Palpatine and asked openly, "Who is this woman?"  
Palpatine glared at him from under his shadowy hood. "You mean you don't remember you own wife?"  
Wife? This was his, wife? How? He could not even respond. Palpatine continued in a mocking, wicked laugh beneath his voice. "You really don't remember her, do you? I thought you had finally quit bellyaching over her, I didn't know you had actually forgotten her."  
"What happened to her, master?"  
Palpatine stared straight at him and an evil smile cracked his lips, showing his hideous rotten teeth. "You killed her!"  
The words hit like a hot lightsaber in his heart. "I killed her? I don't recall this, my master."  
"Do not doubt me." Palpatine said, shaking a crooked, wrinkled finger at his face mask. "Search your feelings, Lord Vader, you will know it to be true."  
Vader did search his feelings, and did know it to be true. It was a feeling colder, harder than he had let himself feel in more years than he could remember. He knew it was true, but still couldn't remember how it happened."How did she die?" Was all he said, showing none of his inner emotion to Sidious.  
"In your anger, you killed her."  
Those words shook him like a quaking planet. He knew they were associated with some repressed feeling, something he would not, could not, allow himself to feel. But it was there. How and why did this happen? What happened to their child? Obi Wan must have stolen the child, clever Obi Wan to hide him from Sidious, but, that would mean Sidious never knew of the child, or thought him dead...surely if he had known of him he could have sensed him in the force. So, he didn't know. Still doesn't know. Very good.  
While all these thoughts ran through Vader's mind, he struggled to hide them from Sidious, and struggled equally as hard to make sense of it all to himself. Strange he could not feel any sorrow associated with this death, why? Had he become that hard and cold? Or was it that it had hurt him, and that's why he shut it out? Finally, he spoke.  
"I killed her? What cirumstances led to this?"  
Palpatine laughed, cackled, heartlessly. "How is it you have forgotten? Your mind is stronger than this, Lord Vader. Surely if you don't remember, it is because you don't want to. Now, do not tell me you have chosen to forget. That would not be like you at all, that would be more like, the person you used to be. And he is gone."  
This did strike hard at Vader. It would be Anakin Skywalker who felt the remorse, and the love. But he hadn't forgotten anything else of his old life. Only this part. Sidious sighed heavily and continued. "Don't you remember the nightmares?"  
"Nightmares of what?'

"Of her dying, dying in childbirth. She was pregnant when she died, you know. Pity we weren't able to save the child, could have been strong with the force. But no, it's better it died, being so strong in the force he surely could have been a threat to us had he become a (chokes on the word) Jedi. Yes, it is good the child is dead. I am very glad you killed her, and the baby too."

Vader had a hard time controlling his shock. I killed a pregnant woman? A woman I must have loved? And my baby inside? But wait, no, the baby lived, Obi Wan stole the baby! he said silently as he tried hard to keep Sidious out of his thoughts and feelings."Was this before, or after, I became a Sith?"  
"You are weak minded indeed, I am most disappointed in you!"  
Vader felt much shame, and much sadness he was having to hear such things from Sidious, of all people.  
"You became a Sith about the same time. Do you not remember the attack on me at the hands of Mace Windu and those other pitiful Jedi?"  
This did come back to him in a flash and ran through his mind like a disc recording. He was watching as Windu held the lightsaber to the throat of Sidious, no, he was still Chancellor Palpatine, and his face became distorted as he begged for help. He heard himself say "_No, I need him!"_ WHY did he 'need' him? Vader felt a cold chill through his remaining bones as he saw himself, in the vivid memory, struggle with his conscious, and finally strike Windu, cutting off his arm. He flew out the window. Palpatine got up. _"What have I done?" _He asked. He remembered this.  
"Yes, master, I remember. When I chose to save you instead of letting Master Windu kill you, I said I needed you. Why did I need you?"  
The old Sith cackled again. "Why, it was her! You were so afraid of losing her. I could help."  
This struck terror in him. He remembered! He was afraid she'd die because of the nightmares! His mind drifted back to the opera house. _"Can I learn this power?"_  
**"Not from a Jedi." **Were the words that had changed his life.

While he still could not bring his wife's image or memory to mind, he remembered this, and it infuriated him. Sidious, as Chancellor Palpatine, had promised to teach him how to stop people from dying. That is when he first suspected he was a Sith Lord, he knew the dark side. He used that, my fear of my wife dying, and my own dissatisfaction with the disrespect I got from the Jedi council, to turn me. What a sinsiter plot! Sidious did not care for me, he only wanted my power, to use me against the Jedi! He couldn't really save my wife, he LIED- she DIED!

Vader stepped away from Sidioius as these thoughts raged in him, and his feelings exploded within him. He felt so much rage he could let it destroy an entire village. He looked over at Sidious, who was staring at him. What was he thinking? Could he read his thoughts? He didn't care right now, because he was going to reveal them.

"You USED me!" He shouted, furiously.  
"Excuse me, Lord Vader, what did you say?"  
"I said, you USED me! You didn't care for me, or my wife, or my life. All you wanted was my power, what I could do for YOU! You wanted to take that away from the Jedi, and you used my greatest fears and biggest source of frustration against me! That is why I turned! You USED me! I h...h" He wanted to scream it so badly, I HATE YOU! But could he?

At this point, he didn't care if Sidious killed him. He hated him so much, and knew he had only been a pawn in his plans. What had it gotten him, except a dead wife. a lost child, a maimed and pain stricken body, and a heavy, miserable prison of a suit? And servitude, lifetime servitude to this, scum! Yes master, forgive me master, whatever you say, master. He hated him! He made a move for Sidious, at that time, he could have killed him, and Sidious realized this."I ha..." Vader tried to get the words out, but his voice failed him. He moved his mouth open and closed, but no sound would come, from his own throat or from his modulator. Then he felt the breath leave him- it became harder and harder to get air. His heart skipped several beats. He tried to walk, but his metal legs stiffened. He stared at Sidious with eyes turned yellow in fury, but saw his image fade, more faintly, until a dark fog concealed the lenses of his mask and he couldn't see at all! At this time, his breathing became even more labored, and he gasped. He tried to reach up and take off his helmet, but his hands would not move. He tried again to take a step, and his legs weakend and gave way until he fell on the ground.

Vader lay there, helpless like no one else in the universe could render him, before the evil that was Sidious. He had used the dark side to shut down Vader's suit and all its parts, and then consume his body. Vader lay flat on the ground, now unable to move, or breathe, at all. Strangely, he could still hear a few muffled sounds from outside his helmet. It was Sidious's voice.

"You still don't know the power of the dark side, do you? You must not underestimate the power of the dark side, MY power! You must obey your master! You must obey your master! Or you will die..." He chanted, over and over, then laughed in his wicked way. "I can destroy you, I can render you helpless and use my lightning to kill you. I have told you this is what will happen to you should you defy me. Is it going to happen today, Lord Vader? You have failed me at Yavin, and you have angered me today. How dare you! Do you have something to say to me?"

Vader felt a little more breath now, not much. but enough to try to speak. He blinked his eyes, and the cloudy fog was lifting, he could make out Sidious's ghastly face standing over him. "What do you say, Lord Vader?"  
Vader knew that if he did not say what Sidious was expecting, he would die, right now. Did he even care? He was so furious, so ashamed, so trapped! He had so much power over everyone in the galaxy, yet this monster had so much power over him. This is why he so often exterted his strength on others, out of such overwhelming frustration over his pathetic and tragic situation. Vader knew as he lay on the ground, this was not the first time Sidious had threatened him this way. But he knew it was going to be the last. He would capitulate this time, but only so he could survive to find his son, and use him against his opressive master. He must live, at all costs, to find Luke and bring him to the dark side so that he could have the power to destroy Sidious. Choking both literally and figuratively, he spoke.  
"Yes, my master. I will do thy bidding, my master. I submit myself to your teaching and your power, my master."  
A demonic smile came across his decrepit lips. "Goooood. Now, you may rise, Lord Vader."  
Vader then raised his arm with no trouble. All of his functions, both bodily and mechanical, had returned. He stood up, got his breathing working normally again, and tried to maintain his composure. He could not look at Sidious. He hated him more than ever, but it was useless to resist him. At least for now.


	4. Chapter 4

IV

Vader hated having to ride back with Sidious. His presence had become more and more foul and unpleasant. He was boiling with anger and resentment at the treatment he had just received at the hands of his 'master' and wanted his revenge, and his freedom more than anything. But he knew he would not be able to achieve that goal, not now. He had find a way. Luke, he thought, would be the perfect way. Someone younger, healthy, strong and powerful in the force. He must find Luke and bring him to the dark side so he would have the power to defeat Sidious.

When they arrived back in Coruscant, Vader returned Sidious to his home and did not stay. If he had been asked, he would have refused. He stalked back to his own home and went straight to his hyperbaric chamber. The one in his mansion was larger and more comfortable than the one on the Executor. He took off the burden that was his mask and helmet, his suit and the armour, and put on a long black Sith robe so he could relax. In this chamber, he didn't just have the chair, it leaned back into an actual bed. What a relief to get to lay down, it was a simple thing to most beings, but a luxury to him. He always had to stand or sit, or usually sleep sitting up. He was going to sleep now, sleep, and perhaps be sent a vision of what he should do.

Before he went to sleep, he reached for his bedside portable breathing tank and put its connecting hose to his nose. Though he could breathe in the hyperbaric chamber due to special pressurized medicated air, he had a deep fear he would stop breathing in his sleep, and die. So he hooked it up to himself before he fell asleep for insurance, and peace of mind. He lay back and took in its deep, refreshing air. He turned off all the lights, closed his eyes and settled back to fall asleep. His mind wouldn't let him. It was racing in too many directions, feeling too much pent up hatred for Sidious and his entire pathetic situation. Finally he gave up on sleeping, turned on the lights and sat back up. He started to take the hose from his face and disconnect the breathing machine. Then he got an idea.

Vader looked at the breathing machine. It wasn't very big, basically no more than a tank and its power pack and the hose. Inside, it would keep pumping and sending air for him to breathe. He stood up, bent down and picked it up. It wasn't all that heavy. "What if I could take this with me, I could walk around for a time without my suit and remain anonymous..." He'd had this thought before, but never took it seriously out of his mind. It was too dangerous. He had not been out of his chamber or the med units without his suit in 20 years. What if the outside atmospheres of this or some other planet would not permit him to survive in his condition? After so many years, most of his orginal burn injuries had healed, at least to some extent, and he didn't feel there was anything that would be a threat to his life other than his inability to breathe on his own. His other systems were monitored by the life support, but they were functioning on their own. The threat of infection was no longer a great one now that his wounds were healed to scars of various degrees. Even his face, though pale and pasty, was not as deeply scarred as it had been.

He stared over at his suit and helmet with much anger and hatred. That was his prison. It kept him from enjoying life, it kept him from being a totally free man, it kept him a literal slave to Sidious. There were times when he felt he would explode from the feelings of frustration inside him that he was trapped for life in that thing, and times he thought himself better off dead, though he never had the fortitude or the real desire to take his own life. He still feared death, though there were times it seemed an easy way out of his predicament. He didn't want to die, he wanted to live, but not like this, not under control of Sidious! Only Luke could help him now. If he could find Luke, things would improve, it gave him hope.

He also thought of his recent trip, and all he had found out about his wife. So much of the past had come back to him, how Sidious had tricked him and used him, and he knew it was because of his love for her. He felt her deep inside, but he still could not see her face, hear her voice, or recall anything specific about her. He put his hands up to his head and squeezed it, wanting to scream out. His torment was getting worse. He had to find out why and how he forgot. But mostly, he had to find out what he had forgotten!

Cautiously, Vader picked up the portable breathing machine and put it under his robe. It wasn't that heavy, it was less of a load than the suit itself. He connected it to his back using a belt strap and tightened it. Then he connected the hose to his nose. He pulled the robe's hood over his head and around the side of his face to conceal it. He took a look at himself in the reflective durasteel on the side of his chamber wall. No, he thought, no one could see his face if he kept it up like this. He pulled the hood down for a moment and gazed at his face. He couldn't stand to look at it for long, it upset him so much to see what he had become. But he did see that his eyes, which had turned yellow in his anger at Sidious, were blue again. Something inside him turned his eyes blue whenever he thought of her, and when he thought of Luke. This was not of the dark side, but it was strong. It must be love. He thought love was dead in him, but perhaps he was wrong.

Vader had a cloth undersuit on to cover his body and artificial limbs, and he put on gloves and boots. He inhaled once more of the medicated air before hooking up the breathing machine, opening the chamber and stepping out. He stood there on the floor, looking back at his chamber. Should he close it? He was afraid of losing his breath. Even after much meditation he could only manage a few minutes of breathing before he had to run back to his chamber, and eventually, to that suit to sustain his life. There was only one way to find out. He had to venture beyond the chamber and try it. He watched it close like gigantic metal jaws. He turned and walked away. For now, the breathing machine was functioning. He measured, two, five, ten minutes, and he was without the suit and breathing! He wondered now why he had been so afraid to try this years ago. It must be that now, he had a reason to care, and maybe now, he feared a long life in his current situation a little more than death. He also knew he had something he never had since he had been put in the suit, he had hope, he had Luke.

Vader was amazed at how quickly and effortlessly he could stride about without te bulk and weight of his suit. His head felt so light without the helmet. He passed a window and stopped for a moment to stare at the city. How much more beautiful it was without that infernal mask and its goggles he always had to look through. He was happy to be out of the suit, but wondered how long he had. He knew that the breathing machine usually lasted 2 or 3 nights of sleeping without having to be recharged or refilled, so he had at least a day or so of freedom. In that time, he would try to find out more about his wife, more about their life, and more about Luke. He used the force to turn off all the security holograms inside to keep the watching droids from spotting him as an intruder. Taking a back exit where no one would see him, he stepped out onto the street, walking about like a normal man for the first time in 20 years.

He adjusted his hood to completely conceal his face and just leave him enough space to see out of. He held it close with one had at his mouth so no one could see his breathing device. He needn't worry about suffocating himself, since his air came from the breathing tank anyway. The feeling of freedom was unbelievable to him. He was not Darth Vader, second in command of the Empire, he was not even Anakin Skywaker, Jedi Knight, Chosen One. He was just an ordinary man on the street, and in a place where so many beings of different species converged and lived together, his odd appearance would not stand out in a crowd. Since the Jedi had been gone for years, no one thought a man in such a cloak was necessarily of the old order. Sidious wore one, but he was much too tall to be Sidious, and others wore robes of some type too. He felt he would be safely anonymous to do what he needed to do- find out about Luke and his mother, the woman he had once loved so much the pain had made him forget. He walked on, his breathing safely normal, his hooded head down, his long black cloak trailing behind him.

Vader made his way on foot to the city's central library. He didn't want to be concerned with taking a vehicle, someone might recognize him that way. Going into a public restroom, he took off his robe in the stall and checked the gauges on his breathing tank. The air was already half gone. The aerobic walk for several miles had used a lot more than just sleeping. He'd have to be careful to keep track of his supply, his life depended on it. He recovered the machine with his cloak, pulled the hood over his head and walked out into the lobby. He was almost to the computers when he was stopped by a librarian.

"Excuse me, sir, may I help you?" She asked.

Vader didn't know what to say. He didn't even know if he could speak audibly without his voice modulator. He took his hand down from holding the hood over his mouth. He inhaled for a minute, then spoke: "I'd like to see the historical archives, please." There. That had been an effort. It was the first time he'd heard his own voice in so long! He now felt he sounded like the voice modulator and amplifier in the suit and mask. He mumbled to himself now and again in his chamber and some during treatments with droids, but to actually speak to another being in his own voice, it had been a long time. It was his own voice, Anakin's voice, just as he remembered it, only weaker and with labored breathing. It made him feel good, somehow, to hear his old, his own voice, unchanged by machinery.

She had heard and understood him just fine. "Yes, sir, right this way. Do you have a library scandisk?"

Oh no, this was a problem! How could he sign up, he had no ID, and certainly couldn't reveal either of his actual names! He took another long breath of air from the tank and spoke again. "No, I'm sorry, I don't, is that necessary?"

"I can sign you in as a guest. But next time, don't forget your ID."

She walked over to the computers, sat down at one and brought up the archives. "From here, just type in any subject or name and you can search." She began to go through some very basic directions, which offended him, but he held his anger. She thought he was some poor man off the street, maybe even homeless, who had never seen a computer before. Good. Let her think that. He played along, then was very glad to have her go so he could do what he needed to do.He searched around and was surprised at what he wasn't able to find. It appeared as if Sidious had used much censorship in the Empire, especially here in Coruscant, Sidious renamed it "Imperial Center."

At last he found a small biography of Padme Naberrie Amidala. It looked like it was written by students who knew very little about her. He did another search, and came up with a link to an image. An image! His heart beat faster and his breathing picked up, causing the lights on his machine to blink differently. He tried to calm down, but he couldn't. He was going to see her, he was actually going to see her! He was almost afraid to go there, but he clicked. He waited a few seconds, then it materialized. First he saw the long, thick dark curls. Then the face. He could not look at it, but he could not look away. She captivated him, she had a power over him. Though he did not recall the details of their lives, he did remember her.

This image was not at all strange to his eyes or his mind. He knew without a doubt that this was her, he had seen that face before, and been very close to it. He enlarged the image until it took up the entire computer screen. He wanted to print it off, but had no money on him. He just sat there, for a long time, staring at it. It did not bring any concrete memories to the surface, but the emotions associated with her started to rise in him. These were things he had not felt in so long he couldn't remember, and they were not comforting to him. He heard Sidious's voice telling him he had killed her. Why? Was it even true? She had to have lived to have had Luke, and ObiWan took him away. But he couldn't let Sidious know that. He couldn't share this with anyone, and it was causing him much suffering. With warm tears welling up in his eyes, he turned off the monitor and walked away.

On his way out the door, the same librarian ran up to him. "Did you find everything you needed, sir?" She called out.

He turned and looked at her, not knowing what to say. No, he hadn't, but what he had seen was more than he could take for now. Much of the truth of the old Republic and the Jedi had not been allowed to be in the archives of the Imperial Center Central Library, so he would have to search elsewhere for more. "Yes, thank you." He managed to say, but in his haste to leave, he had not pulled his hood up far enough, leaving most of his face exposed. She stared into his eyes for a time, and he could see her expression change, like she almost recognized him. He turned to walk away.

She followed him. "Sir, sir!" she called, tugging at his cloak.

He pulled away from her and turned around, almost yelling at her. "What is it?"

"Do I know you..."

"How could you, no."

"I just thought..there is something about you that reminds me of someone I used to know. It's your eyes, and even your voice, I know I've met you before. You are very like a young man I had such a crush on, years ago, when I was a teenager, he was a..." she knew better than to utter the word "Jedi" in a public building of the Empire, so she stopped herself. "He had the most beautiful eyes, there was something about them, I could never forget those eyes. He was a very kind and handsome guy, he was..."

Vader cut her off. "Was he disfigured, like me? See, it can't be, leave me alone."

'I guess you're right. But for a moment it seemed..."

"I must go." He pulled his hood up as far as he could and stomped away.

He realized she did see something in him, though he was scarred and had to use a hose to breathe, she knew Anakin enough to have remembered his eyes and his voice. She knows too much now, she will have to be eliminated. He would sign her death order as soon as he got back to his office. She would be taken away in the night, and no one would ever know what became of her. Who was she, he thought, just one of many girls who must have swooned over his poster boy image in the days of the Clone Wars. No loss, her demise. Then, something came over him, suddenly, it felt wrong. For years, his deeds had not bothered him, but this one did. He could feel he didn't want to kill her. But he couldn't let her go on thinking Anakin Skywalker was alive. He turned and went right back to the libary. It was empty, all except for her and Vader. He realized that in his emotional state and in his rush to leave, he had forgotten to close the browser! Coming up behind her, he saw she had turned on the monitor and was staring at the picture of Padme. "I knew it" she said to herself. "that's his wife, it was him!"

She didn't realize he had snuck up behind her. "Who?" he said as loud as he was able. Startled, she gasped and turned around. When she saw him her face was full of terror. "Oh, I'm sorry, sir, I.."

"What do you know of her?"

"Just that she was a senator, and she was his wife..."

"She wasn't married, was she?" He played her to see what she knew.

"It was a secret. They lived the most romantic forbidden love, but nobody knew. There were rumors all over the city, later, after she, after they, were dead."

"How did they die?"

"I don't know. They both died the same time the Empire came to power. I saw her funeral on TV."

"What of him?"

"I-I don't know, he disappeared then too, they say he was lost in the...the..." She was afraid to speak of the Jedi purge.

"Order 66? The terror, the purge of the Jedi Knights?" Her head snapped toward him and in shock. She had never heard anyone say it out loud.

"You must not speak of such things, or the Empire might..." she stopped and gazed into his eyes again. "It's you, isn't it? You were hurt badly but you're alive and you're back, can you save us, help us, please..."

He was horrified to hear her speak of the Empire as if it were a monster in need of slaying. Was this how most residents felt? Was it that bad? He had never even considered, or cared, about that, until now. "Who is it you think I am? You may speak his name, it is only the two of us here."

She looked around apprehensively, then muttered softly. "Anakin Skywalker."

Vader didn't know what to do. He wanted to kill her and hug her at the same time. His feelings were betraying him coming and going. In a way he hated her for knowing, yet he loved it too. He was not going to kill her. But he couldn't let her go about with such dangerous knowledge of his identity. He touched her chin to raise her face to look into his. She stared into his eyes, deep blue and hypnotic, penetrating from inside the dark hood of the cloak. He waved his hand in front of her face. "You didn't meet me today, I was never here. No one has come to the library asking to see the archives."She repeated his words. "No one has been here today asking to see the archives, I did not meet you..."

When she appeared dazed enough not to think any more of it, he turned and left, satisfied his Jedi mind trick had worked, and her life would be spared. But this let him know that even scarred, if someone recalled his features and his voice that well, there would be others who might do the same. He would not venture out alone out of the suit again, at least not on Coruscant, Imperial Center. However, there were other places. He just had to make sure he had enough air in his tank for travel, and he'd have to keep it all a secret from Sidious.

As soon as he returned home, he found he had a large number of messages left for him, several of them from Sidious himself. Quickly as he was able, he put his suit back on and headed over to face him. Sickening himself to kneel before him, and to bow his head and say "What is thy bidding, my master?"

"Lord Vader, where have you been today? Why did you ignore my calls?"

"I was asleep, and meditating."

"I sense you are lying. I sense things in you I have not felt in years."

"Like what, my master?

"I sense the same conflict I felt in your former self."

"You are mistaken, master. It is only the grief caused by learning the truth of my wife, I thank you for telling me. I had to deal with the issue on my own, I am after all still part human."

Sidious squeezed the arms of his throne chair and glared at Vader. "Yes, Lord Vader, I can allow that you must have some feelings for her. You are excused, for now."

"Master, may I ask a favor of you?

"What is it?"

"May I be granted a time of leave, a few days to go to one of my outpost homes and meditate on this?"

"I suppose I can do without you, but no more than four days, our time here. You will return then and be prepared for your next mission."

"Yes, my master. I will leave tonight."

"As you wish. But, in all things you do, do not forget who is your master."

Vader snarled under his mask as he faced him one more time. He knew this was a threat, and that he was likely going to be followed if he could not lose the spies. He'd have to be very crafty to do what he wanted to do and avoid all Imperial involvement. He choked on the words he knew he must speak. "Yes, my master."

He turned and walked away so fast his cape twisted around backwards. He went home to prepare for his journey that would take him to the darkest places of the past.


	5. Chapter 5

V

As Vader prepared for his trip, he was fighting his own internal conflict. He felt things he hadn't felt in years, and wondered why. He questioned himself, if he was really totally on the dark side. For many years there had been no question, but now he knew that as much as he tried to hide it, Sidious was right. He was thinking and feeling things he hadn't since he was Anakin. Whatever lie buried in his mind, it was changing him. He didn't truly understand why or what that meant, and he wouldn't until he found the lost pieces of his past.

Reaching his chamber, he sat down and took off his helmet and looked at his own reflection. This was something he usually avoided doing since Mustafar, but now he was drawn to it. Was there really that much of Anakin left in that face, and his voice, to make the librarian remember him so strongly? Was it also the aura of the force permeating from him? If it was Anakin's life force, what did that make Darth Vader but some dressed up character pretending to be something he's not? No, he couldn't let himself drift that far away, couldn't let himself think that way, couldn't let himself...admit that he wanted to.

He stared at his own face, into his own eyes. They were blue, they were very much Anakin's eyes. They were not at the moment Sith eyes. He had noticed they were becoming Sith colored much less often, and that when they did turn, it was usually Sidious who brought on the dark side rage that caused them to change. Thinking of Luke, and Padme, made them blue. Whatever was in him right now made them blue.Thinking of how he used to look, it was hard to look upon at the scarred figure he now was. He licked his dry lips, feeling how rough they were. Though they had healed much since the lava, his face was a pitiful remnant of what it used to be. Did that also go for the inside of him? _No, stop thinking that,_ he told himself, _stop feeling like Anakin, he only failed at everything!_ Darth Vader was strong, powerful, respected, feared, he was a better man- or was he?

Vader turned away, not wanting to face himself any longer, his image, or his feelings. Perhaps he shouldn't take this trip. Whatever he found there may only make these feelings worse, may take him places he shouldn't want to go. Perhaps he should just forget it all, not take his leave and get right back on the Executor and down to business. But knowing what he knew now, he couldn't let his search go unfinished. It wasn't like Darth Vader to not want to finish something, that was it, he'd have to finish it because he was a powerful Sith Lord and that's the way he does things. That was the only reason, he told himself, not sure he believed it.

He reached for the disc that held the info that had changed his life for the first time in two decades. Fighting the conflict inside that told him not to, he put it in, and played it. He stared at Luke's image on the big screen, and felt powerful emotions. They were not the kind of power Darth Vader had, but another kind- was it, love? No, love is for fools, love is for the weak, love failed him...how did it fail him? Or did he fail it? This remained to be discovered. He had to make the journey into his past. He could not go on unless he did. Before he turned off the disc, he froze Luke's picture still for a moment and gazed at it, thinking and feeling everything that brought to him, for better or worse. He wanted his son, needed to find him. He could not stop or rest until he did. He did not deny that. But he had to do it Darth Vader's way. Then he could tell him the truth, and he would join him in defeating Sidious. He turned it off. The image faded to black and disappeared from the screen, but not from his mind.

Vader thought it would be best to wear his suit on his trip to save air from the tank, then change into the tank and robe once he arrived, but he feared someone finding his ship with the empty suit in it, so he realized he was going to have to take a chance, one that could cost him his life. He would have to leave the suit in the chamber, no one dare disturb his private chamber. But what of Sidious, if he became suspicious? He would have to make sure he didn't become suspicious. He'd tell him he was going to a secluded place with no communications so he wouldn't try to contact him and see and hear he wasn't Darth Vader. He charged his tank one last time. At full capacity, it would last 3 days Coruscant time. He must speed to Naboo in hyperspace if he was to have any time to investigate and make it back. He could do it, he convinced himself. Putting on the robe and fastening the tank, he chose a lesser known ship from his personal collection and took off.

The librarian had a late meal with a friend, then invited her home to view a new recording they both wanted to see. The library had censored the things it rented, but this one had gotten by them and she wanted to see it before they confiscated it. Suddenly, she paused her movie. Her friend asked what was wrong.  
"I have to tell you something, I have to tell someone."  
"It's that bad?"  
"Please swear you will never tell anyone. We have been friends since we were c hildren, I can trust you, right?"  
"Of course."  
"This is dangerous. Do you remember Anakin Skywalker?"  
"How could I forget? He was gorgeous, we both had crushes on him..."  
"He's back."  
"What? Is he still hot?"  
"I'm afraid not. He's horribly disfigured. Something awful must have happened to him in that Jedi purge, but somehow he survived and has managed to make it back here."  
"Are you sure it's him?"  
"I could never forget those eyes, and that voice. But you know what finally gave it away?"she quietly held her own laughter. "He tried to use one of those old Jedi mind tricks on me to make me forget I met him! That was the last straw, then I knew it was him! Ha, didn't he know I was too smart and too strong minded to fall for that?" She winked.  
"Oh my, that does sound like him, and he has the Jedi power! What are you going to do?"  
"Nothing, now, and please for both our sakes and his as well don't tell anyone!" They both did a little cross your heart motion they had done as children. "But you just wait, he's come back to save us, he will kill the Emperor and bring peace and freedom back to the galaxy, I can feel it!"  
"I hope you're right!"  
"I know I am. Anakin Skywalker will save us after all."


	6. Chapter 6

VI

Vader reached Naboo in record time. He parked his ship among many others in a parking space to lose himself in the crowd. As he walked toward Naboo's records hall, he looked over at the monument to Padme. He stared at it for awhile, but would not go to it. He couldn't, not until he found his lost memories of her.Besides, he couldn't spare any air in his tank.

Vader headed right straight inside, took a deep breath and asked to see the historical records. This time, he wasn't taken to a computer, but a lot of files. There were many recordings of holograms as well as written forms. All he found out from them was the same thing he'd found out on Coruscant, that she was a former Queen, and a senator, and had died the same time the Empire came to power. The only picture they showed of her was one of her as a very young girl in her Queen makeup. This was strange to him at first, then stirred a memory he could not bring to the surface, though he knew it was his oldest one of all concerning her. There was nothing of her personal life. He was frustrated and felt that the librarian who knew of the rumors would be of more use to him than this. One by one, he watched several holograms of her. This captivated him for hours, watching every move, every little mannerism. He knew her so well, but just as he couldn't touch her in the holograms, he couldn't touch the part of his deepest subconscious where she lay buried. At last he had exhausted everything they had available, and it had not brought her memory of their life back. He felt his rage grow until he wanted to destroy things, but thought better of drawing attention to himself. What of her family, surely she had family, they would know? Even if he found them, why would they tell him, a crazy disfigured wanderer in a dark cloak? They'd run from the sight of him alone.

He walked out onto the street, not knowing where to head next. He looked over at the memorial and grave again. Slowly, he started walking toward it. Many thoughts and emotions swirled in him as he slowly approached it. When he was almost there, he felt himself short of breath. At first he thought it was his own body becoming tired and didn't suspect the air tank. But then it started to beep out in warning! He checked the lights and gauges He had only minutes left! How did this happen? It must have malfunctioned, he couldn't have miscalculated so badly! He treid to draw a deep breath, but couldn't. He felt a horible suffocation in his chest, one he had feared since he had become dependant on machines to breathe for him. He was so far from his ship, he'd never make it back before collapsing. There as no hope of making the trip back to his chamber. He realized, as the air left his body and he felt more lightheaded, that he would die, right here, right now. The air came in smaller and smaller doses until he inhaled and got nothing. That was it. He collapsed to the ground, straining to look up at Padme's grave ahead of him, so close and yet so far. If I am to die, it is fitting I should die on her grave, since I killed her. He thought, then wondered where that had come from. With less and less air going to his brain, he was losing his mind, and in his delirium, his true feeling had come out.

It would be too bad if he would not live long enough to figure out what it meant. The horror of not being able to breathe consumed him, along with his deep fear of death. He should not have tried to go out without his suit. No time left to even think. The air had left his body, his mind was fading. Through cloudy spots in front of his eyes, the last thing he did before he passed out was to look up and reach one hand up toward Padme's grave. With a last sickening, helpless gasp, his brain lost all air and he went unconscious. Lying on his stomach, his right hand clawing toward Padme, eyes and mouth closed, and his face, pale from years without sunlight turned even paler. His lips were blue as his head hit the ground. He lay totally still and motionless.

An Imperial officer came before the Emperor. "My Lord, we cannot make contact with Lord Vader."  
"He is on leave, he will return soon."  
"Where is he?"  
'Lord Vader needs some time alone, when he gets back he will be much more productive to our cause"  
"Our spies detect no record of him leaving Courscant airspace."  
"He may not have identified himself, but you know no one can enter or leave this planet without an Imperial security code."  
"Yes, sir, I must be mistaken, sir."  
"You may leave me alone now. Do the ssame for Lord Vader. He knows when he is to return, and he will not fail me."  
When the officer was gone, Sidious turned ot look out the window. He tried to sense Vader, but couldn't. This either meant that he was getting old and his powers were growing weaker, or that Vader was in a far away remote location, or that he was dead. Pondering this, he decided it was that he was just in a far off remote location. He said he wanted time to rest, that's what he was doing. Lord Vader would not fail him again, he had better not. But then again, who could replace Vader? There was no one else in the universe so strong in the force who knew the waysof both sides. He would like to replace Vader with a younger, healthier apprentice, but there was no one else. Vader would have to do. He would leave him to his retreat, then send him right back out on assignment. Sidious turned away from the window, assured that all he saw and all beyond it were his to rule and nothing would ever change that.

--------------------------------

"What happened to that guy?" Yelled a child to his mother as he walked along holding her hand.  
"Shush, honey, don't embarass him."  
"No, mommy, I think the guy is dead, right over there by Auntie Padme's grave." He pointed.  
Ryoo, one of Padme's neices, regularly visited her aunt's grave as a shrine and made sure to take her young son there to tell him all about her. She was too good to be forgotten. Ryoo looked up and saw the man in the black robe lying face down near the grave. "A lot of people come to pay homage to my Aunt Padme, she was a great lady."  
"But mommy, he's not getting up, I really think he died!"  
Ryoo took another look, and realized her little boy might be right. Not wanting to scare her child, she ran, pulling him along by the hand, until they reached the spot where Vader lay. Ryoo let go of her son's hand and turned the man face up. He was very pale, and very cold. "Quick, Jayden, squeeze your Medilert button!" A concerned mother, she had bought her child one of the emergency alert pushbutton alerts in case he was ever hurt, sick or in danger. He pressed it hard.

"Does this mean the man isn't dead yet?" he asked. Ryoo looked up at him, not knowing what to say. She had heard of mouth to mouth resusistation for those who had stopped breathing, but hadn't taken a course since she was in school. But she had to try. She couldn't let a devotee of her beloved aunt die right here near her grave. How sad, she thought, that he didn't even make it all the way. Pulling the now useless hose from his nose, placing one hand on his nose and one under his head, she mustered her courage, closed her eyes and bent to breathe into his mouth. She couldn't conceal her thoughts as they showed on her face. What a shame he is so gross and hideously scarred! This would be easier if he were better looking. I hope he doesn't have anything contagious! She stared for a second, thinking there was something familiar about him, but didn't know that he was once a very handsome young man who had loved her aunt very much, and someone she had met once or twice. Still, she could somehow feel a connection between him and Padme, and knew that he loved her. Ryoo, her eyes still closed for her own comfort, breathed into him repeatedly. She kept checking to see if his own lungs had taken over, but they hadn't. Then noticing the tank connected to the hose, she realized he had a terrible medical condition that left him unable to breathe. "Poor thing," she told Jayden, "he must have had some kind of terrible accident to be in such a condition. He must have been hurt in battle years ago. I'm sure he remembered my aunt as someone very special. I've got to save him!"

Just then, sirens blared and a herd of med droids came running. She let them take over. They put a breathing hose over his face, and he started breathing again with the help of the air machine. While he did not regain consciousness, he was alive. Ryoo put her hand around her son's shoulder and led him away, both taking one more glance back. "He'll be okay now, the doctors have him."  
"Did we save his life, Mommy?"

"Yes, Jayden, we did. If you had not noticed him, he'd have laid there and died before anyone came to help. A person's brain cannot survive long without air. Within minutes, cells start to die, and functions are lost. Then, they..die. I hope I saved him from any of that with the breath I gave him before they got here. I don't know how long he'd been lying there, but yes, you did save his life."  
"You did too, Mommy." She smiled and hugged him. "WE saved his life. I feel so good about this. Anyone who loved my aunt that much deserves another chance."  
She didn't follow to the hospital, but walked away feeling she had done all she could for some nice man who loved Padme enough to visit her grave.


	7. Chapter 7

VII

"Get him in here, hurry!" Yelled one of the few human doctors at the closest hospital. "What happened?"  
"A woman and a child found him lying on the ground" answered a paramedic droid. "He had stopped breathing."  
"Is he breathing now?"  
"No, sir, he can't, there is something wrong with him, he cannot breathe without assistance. He wore a tank of air, and it ran out on him. He is attached to another now."  
"What happened? How long was he out?"  
"I don't know."  
"He's still alive. That's good. But we won't know until he wakes up if he has lost any of his brain function. This could leave him severely handicapped in many ways, depending on how long his brain was deprived of air, and what parts shut down first. Come, let's get him into an air tent immediately."

Vader was pushed into a room with a huge covered bed. He was pulled over onto it and hooked up to a larger breathing machine. It made almost the same noises as his suit did. Moving him, the medical workers all noticed that not only was he horribly scarred, but that all four of his limbs had been replaced by mechanical prothesis.

"Poor guy, he's been through the mill a few times. It's a wonder he keeps on living. He must have some special purpose in life." The doctor joked, but wasn't far from the truth. The doctor opened one of Vader's eyes to shine a light into it. "His pupils are reacting to light normally, that means there is no concussion, no trauma to his head. This is a good sign. That means he must have passed out due to the lack of air when his tank ran out. Only time will tell, when he wakes up, we will know what damage has been done."

He lay in a deep coma and the med team was uncertain when and if he'd be able to wake up. In this deep sleep, the dreams came. His whole life played out in a whirl of images and voices, all his pain, his regret, Padme's face, but still nothing definite on the story of their life and love. Even in this trance state, this tortured him. All the darkest things in his mind came to him. ObiWan, his brother, his friend, his enemy. This also caused pain, and regret. Why, how, had everything gone so terribly wrong? It WAS all wrong, though his conscious mind would not allow him to think it for long. The dark side and Darth Vader ruled his body, but it didn't totally rule his mind or his heart, and this was the proof. Was it the force in him doing this, and if it was, it wasn't the dark side. Then, the clearest image of all came. Luke. Turning to his father, and smiling, reaching out his hand. It was beautiful, peaceful. He wanted this so much, he needed it. In his dream, he reached toward it, as it faded...

"He's waking up!" The doctor called out and a waiting urgent care crew rushed to Vader's side. Standing around him, monitoring his vitals, the doctor and the droids watched as he grunted and stirred himself awake. Slowly he opened his eyes and tried to focus on them. He inhaled a deep breath from the machine beside his bed until he felt he was sufficiently supplied to remain awake. He sat up a little and looked around. He moved the breathing mask on his nose away from his mouth and tried to speak, weakly. "Where am I? Who are you?"

"You were found, collapsed and unconscious on the ground. A passerby tried to revive you until our emergency droids came to your aid. Then you were brought here."

It all came back him now. He had almost died near Padme's grave. His air tank had run out. Going so far away without his suit was the most foolish thing he had done in many years. He was ashamed of himself for being so desperate. He thought he was dying, but now he was alive, to live and face all the pain once again. And his mission was not even complete, he never found his memories of Padme. Why, he wondered, was he continually allowed to live and suffer so much?

"Who are you?" Asked a droid, in a 'who shall we send the bill to' type of way more than concern.  
Vader's brain was undamaged by the incident, he was in full possession of all the functions and faculties he'd had before. But he was going to play up the old amnesia act to avoid revealing his true identity. "I- I don't know."

"I don't remember anything, not even my name, or how I got here. What is this planet, anyway?"  
"Oh, you must have amnesia. We have procedures that can help you get your memory back."  
"You do?!" This interested him very much. This may be the way to find his lost memories. He turned to them with pleading eyes staring sadly out of his scarred face."I want so badly to remember. Help me."  
They could tell he really, truly, deeply meant it, but they had no idea what his intentions were. "We will." Promised the doctor.

Vader lay back in his bed and relaxed, staring at the breathing machine beside his bed. He felt so secure with it next to him, and wondered how he was going to get home without his suit, and without anyone finding out who he was. He was obviously not meant to die today, or the force would have let him go. Was he still the "Chosen One" with a purpose? He wondered why he kept on living despite everything that happened to him. He was glad he was going to live to find Luke, and was very excited at the prospect of having his memories restored, though he feared what truths they may bring. Soon, some med droid technicians parted the curtain of his air tent with a strange looking device and wheeled it next to his bed.

"We are ready to begin. Are you prepared?"  
He told them he was, though he really wasn't sure. There was no turning back now. He was finally going to remember- the thing he both wanted and feared so much was about to happen.

As the device that was supposed to restore his memory was wheeled to his bedside, Vader felt a rush of excitement in his damaged body that he hadn't been able to feel in years. It was almost a thrill, yet, still, fear of what it might bring back to him.

The droid raised the headpiece and placed it tightly on Vader's poor bald, scarred head. Once in place, it totally covered his eyes and ears. The complete darkness and silence overwhelmed him and with terror and claustrophobia worse than even his mask ever had. He reached to pull it off. He didn't like the idea of being unaware of his surroundings, and wondered if he'd be able to sense anything through the force once the machine took over his mind. Years of failed attempts of sneak attacks from enemies had made him a bit paranoid of assassination. The droid let him remove it, fighting with him would only damage it and hurt Vader.  
"Is it really necessary to shut me out like that?" He asked. "Can't you just put it on my head?"  
The droid shook his metal head no. "Your mind must be free of all external audio and visual stimuli if this is to work."  
"Well, don't you think you should take some time to explain to me what is going on first?"  
"Of course, sir, I am sorry for my mistake. First, I will put the device securely on your head. You will then lie down on your back, relax, and try not to change positions. I will then begin to activate the computers attached to the device, which will send impulses to certain parts of your brain through the electrodes inside the headpiece which will each fasten to your head once it is properly fitted to you."  
"What should I expect to happen?"  
"I am not a living creature, so I have never experienced it."  
"Have you seen other patients go through this? How did they react?"  
"Honestly, sir, most of them are frantic, Some scream and thrash about, some try to get up, some reach out.."  
Vader thought how this might affect his extraordinary mind. He remembered how he had broken restraints and destroyed the med droids after his surgery. He thought perhaps he should warn the droid, not for its own good, but for the success of the procedure.  
"I would be most ashamed if that were to occur. If I become extreme, please subdue me and remove the device at once."  
"We cannot do that, it might damage you. Once started, we must allow it run its course."  
Vader sighed. He was having second thoughts about it all. What if, under the control of the device, he screamed out something that would reveal his identity? He had to keep a bit of himself aware and not allow his mind to totally be taken over by the machine. He wasn't backing out now, but he'd have to be very careful. He was confident he could do this. He turned and gazed out the window, lost in thought, until the droid's voice brought him back to reality. "Sir, do you want to continue, or not? If you have changed your mind, all you have to do is say so and we will go no further."  
"If I am to, exclaim anything aloud, will everyone be listening?"  
"No, sir, it will only be me, and another monitoring droid."  
"What of the doctors, the human ones that were here before?"  
"All attending more serious cases, they have no time for now."  
"Will there be a recording made of my procedure?"  
"If that is your wish."  
"It is not."  
"Then, no."  
"You may procede."  
Vader lay still and closed his eyes as the droid replaced the headpiece. It was a difficult fit because of the condition of his head, but even people with a full head of hair had been successfully fitted with the device, and soon so was Vader. He felt the crunches as the electrodes clamped onto his head in the right places, wires making contact through his skin to the memory centers of his brain. The droid watched the monitors to make sure the installation had gone smoothly. It had. Vader was once again overcome by dread, but tried to relax and will himself to do what he was going through this for, to remember. His breathing machine regulated from rapid to calm as he settled down. Still awake and conscious, he tried not to think of, or feel, anything that was actually there. He got the image of the droid and the room out of his mind and let his mind drift into the depths of the silence and darkness. He felt a slight tingle as the device prodded his head in certain places. He tried to keep his mind a blank, and he did, until finally, it began to fill with very vivid images from his distant past.

Out of the darkness came a bright light, the light of the twin suns of Tatooine, and the parched desert sands. He saw as he had seen it all with his own eyes at that time in the past, so he did not see himself. He knew he was a child. There, oh, yes, there she was, his mother, Shmi, so clear and real he could touch her! Lying in the bed, he reached a pitiful mechanical hand toward her, and seemed to pretend, or think, he made contact with her. A smile cracked his scarred face. This was a warm, glowing, happy memory, and all the feelings that came with it flooded him again. But why would he remember this, he had not forgotten his mother, or his childhood on Tatooine. Soon the reason would come. SHE was there. A beautiful girl, a painted face, then, the same girl, or was it? Yes, it was, a beautiful Queen pretending to be a servant girl. She was with him, and she was perfect. This was her, his beloved Padme Amidala, who had been edited out of his memory. She was back. Not a picture, not a hologram, not a computer image. She was there, again, in his own memory.

That wasn't the end of it. Time proceeded. He was older now, and seeing her again, in an apartment, with an amazing view of the city, yes, this was Coruscant. He could see his reflection in her mirror, he was whole, even his right hand still intact, young, tall, handsome, and strong. He turned, and now he, through his own memory, saw her- her beautiful, tender, fragile face, her long, curly dark hair, her incredible clothes. He not only saw her, but all the sensations surrounding her came back- her gentle voice,her laugh, the smell of her perfume, the shiver that went up his spine from the thrill of being close to her. Soon the scene faded...and was replaced by, could it be, a better one? It was beyond beautiful! The sky, the waterfalls, the flowers, the total sensory experience flooded his mind and made him high. His breathing machine struggled as he became more excited. He could smell the flowers, for the first time in years! He could feel the grass, even the insects buzzing around in it, the wind, and her...

It wasn't fair! These memories were so vivid, it wasn't like a movie, it was like he was actually experiencing it again, with all his senses, with his entire body. He could feel his limbs again, he could feel his chest breathing, in and out, like any normal being should be able to, even the most simple creature. It was three dimensional, just like it was really happening, and he was there. It was such torture, for the bit of his mind he held back to say conscious, to have to deal with this knowing it could never be again! It hurt so badly, until he decided to let go.. and let the memories, and their feelings, completely consume his mind and consciousness.

It felt good. He didn't want it to end. He was there now, and so was she. He was lying on his back in the field, and she had come to lean over him. In the bed, his arm reached out into nothing, but in his mind, he touched her. She was warm, and sweet, and beautiful. He didn't want to come back, he didn't even want the memory to move on and change scenes.

He had noticed that it wasn't his entire life being replayed, but only the parts that were missing from his memory- her. As beautiful as the setting was, it did change again. This time, he was standing by the lake. He saw the mountains reflecting off the clear, still water, and she was there. The kiss he hoped would not become a scar, the kiss that became a terrible scar on his heart, his mind, his soul. Why, how had this gone wrong? He had to know, it had to go on. He feared if it moved on, it would take him to places even more beautiful, and eventually, to the dark places he feared the most. But for now, he savored it, and wished he could never go back.

One of the doctors walked in to check on the droids. "How is this going?"  
"Excellent, so far. His memories seem to be bringing him happiness only."  
"If this changes, you let me know at once. We may have to monitor his health if they get worse."

The doctor looked over at Vader. He appeared at peace, relaxed, content. All that was showing of his face beneath the headpiece was his nose and mouth, and his nose was full of the link hose to the breathing apparatus. Inside his head, the story continued.


	8. Chapter 8

VIII

The time played out in his mind. The wedding, their stolen time together among his missions and their coverups. Most of the memories that came were vivid and alive, love, happiness, the night they must have conceived their child. As time went on, she became more beautiful, more precious. Then came his return from the Outer Rim after rescuing the Chancellor who was to become Emperor. There she was behind that pillar, glowing with love and beauty. She gave him the happiest moment of his life when she told him she was pregnant. Warmth ran through what was left of his body.Even in his dreamlike trance state, he remembered it, and if he could, would have held time right there forever. He saw her and felt her again in his memory, backdropped against the skyline out the window. He recalled telling her that the baby was a blessing, and meaning it. How he ached that he could not go back right then and do it all over. How beautiful, how tender she was. He wanted to feel this again, but it was only an artificial reproduction that could not be reached.

Once again, he relived the nightmares, and his fateful desicion based on the lies and manipulation of Sidious. His anger at Sidious was as powerful as the love he had just touched in his memory. It was his fault, he had ruined it all! He probably planted those dreams there to use him! Then again came the frustration of not being able to to anything about Sidious- for now- he tried to get back to the train of returning memories. He saw and felt the inner turmoil of them both as he wrestled with what to do. Her beautiful tear stained face, her loving voice filled his head again. For a time, it brought a comfort, but that was not to last long. At last came the part he feared most. There she was, standing in front of him on Mustafar, begging him to come away now, while there was still time- but he didn't listen. He relived telling her that he could overthrow the Chancellor, and they could make the galaxy their own.

"_Why did she have to react that way? WHY_?" His tortured mind cried out.He saw her back away from him, head shaking, mouth turned down, eyebrows knitted unnaturally upside down as she told him he was going down a path she could not follow. "_WHY could she not? Didn't she see it was the best thing?"_

Then he saw- standing there in the opening of her ship- him! ObiWan! "_She had brought him there to_ _kill me! She betrayed me_!" If only he had known the truth! In his memories, the love turned to rage, and he saw come between them his outstretched hand in a force choke. ObiWan demanded her release, and he complied- leaving her falling to the ground in a heap. His memory now tore him in two directions- he was so regretful of how he had done this, yet, something dark still in him was telling him she had it coming for turning against him. That was it, he did the right thing, nothing to be haunted over. Then, why did it hurt so bad he had repressed it? He couldn't allow himself to feel that.Anakin may have cared, but Darth Vader didn't. Anakin ws gone. If he was, why was his presence still so strong?

"NO!" He screamed out loud in his hospital bed.

He could take no more. His strong mind took over from the machine, he raised up and tore it from his head. The droids around him rang for a human doctor just as they were all destroyed by his force fit of anger. Rising from the bed, he remained in control long enough to unhook himself from the machinery all except the breathing machine, which he was stealing. He ran away with it tucked under his arm, using every bit of its life sustaining air to escape from this place that had saved his life. Frightened workers both human and droid avoided his path. The human doctor who stood in front of him was force thrown against the wall. The last thing he saw before he was knocked out was a pair of yellow eyes flaming out of the pale, scarred face. As he made his exit from the hospital, he saw that he was faced with several armed security guards. When he did not stop as requested, one fired, but he blocked the blast and deflected it towards the rest. Now everyone was fleeing in fear, wondering who this man was, and what kind of power he posessed, or that posessed him.

Leaving them in fear, Vader was able to return to his craft and fly away. Trying to get the restored images out of his mind, he concentrated only on flying back to Coruscant before his air supply ran out. The newly refreshed images and feelings of the beautiful woman who had bore him a son played again for him. The warm feeling was there, but it was covered by something cold and dark, something that had taken it away.

He had loved his mother, and lost her. He had loved his brother, and lost him. He had loved his wife, and lost her. He had loved his baby, and lost him.

"_Love did this to me._" He thought to himself as he loathed again his condition. "_I hate love. It only leads to pain."_

He tried to get any other thoughts out of his head, yet they came- what had she thought, what had she felt? He felt the hurt coming on, and tried to block it again. There was more. He had to wonder, if she died there, how is it that the baby survived? The baby. Luke. His son. That was a thought that took his emotions where he dare not go.

The last of his air was expiring as he broke through the clouds of Coruscant. He feared he would lose it before he landed, and he'd pass out and crash. He couldn't have that, dying that way, or being found this way. He landed at his home, and struggled through gasps and near blackouts to reach his chamber. He was almost gone when he pressed the button and it closed. The pressurized air hissed all around him. Ahhhhh. Leaning back in his chair, he closed his eyes and inhaled the life giving air. It was such a relief. How foolish he had been to venture out without his suit. As much as he hated being locked inside that prison, it was not worse than the feeling of struggling for breath and dying. It had been nice for once in years to get about without it, but he would not try it again. As much as he tried to cover any vestige of love with hate, he was unable to deny it was in him. His rage could not take away the waves of regret of the echoes from the past. Tears came, and melted the yellow Sith eyes again to blue. Now he sunk deep into rest, but it was not to be peaceful.

When Vader awoke, it took his mind awhile to adjust to what had returned to his memory. He was consumed by feeling of regret, and helplessness that he had ruined everything and couldn't fix it. He tried to avoid it, but it came. Then the rage of the dark side returned, and all he could feel was the betrayals of Padme and Obi-Wan, and the Jedi. That's right, it was their faults, not his. He was alive, in pathetic condition though he was, and they were dead because they were the ones who were wrong...it was no use. He buried his head in his hands, and cried.

After some time, he dried is face and pulled out the disc containing Luke again. He felt so close to him, and wanted to be with him. How tragic he had lost all those years, years that could have been spent happily with Padme, raising this beautiful son..no, the dark side tried to take this tender feeling from him, and he fought it. Still, it remained inside. He _loved _Luke. He loved him enough that he would have to make sure Sidious never found out about him, or he'd kill him, or use him against him. Vader had no idea that Yoda and Obi-Wan had survived death as force spirits, and were also using Luke for the same reason. With all this working against them, how could this father and son ever unite and find love and peace? Perhaps it was not meant to be. Or, maybe it was. Vader thought of the old prophecy, and though he now didn't believe it, he had to wonder. Was he the Chosen One? Did he still have a destiny? Or was Luke the one? He believed so strongly in the force, he couldn't doubt that it might yet have something to prove to him.


	9. Chapter 9

IX

Inside his chamber, he got a call from Sidious. Quickly, he turned off and hid his disc of Luke, put his suit back on and went to meet his 'master.' He hated Sidious, and how he treated him. Why was he eveen still here, other than that Sidious could strike him down in an instant by shutting off his suit? He hated him for it. He looked at the withered being with contempt as he once again creaked his mechanical legs to bow before it.  
"You may rise, Lord Vader."  
"Why have you asked me here, master?"  
"I am concerned about you. I can sense something in you that I don't quite understand, and can't reach. This is very strange. What is it that could be so powerful that I cannot get through? What are you hiding from me, my apprentice?"  
Vader tried to remain cool. "All that is in my mind is some old vestiges of my past life. They have been bothering me."  
"Why should they? You have nothing to be sorry for, all went as it should."  
"It will pass in time, I'm sure. Forgive me, master." It was hard for him to say this, but he had to cover and hide his thoughts of Luke.  
"Is it that stupid woman again? Or that vile Jedi Kenobi? Don't tell me you have any second thoughts about killing them. You were justified in all you have done. You have been a good Sith."  
"Yes, master."  
Sidious could sense a bit of the turmoil inside him. "Don't forget, Lord Vader, who it was who saved your life when you lay as a pile of charred flesh upon the lava banks. Your 'friend' Kenobi did that to you, and turned his back on you and walked away! SHE brought him there, you must remember this, it was her who brought him there to do this to you! She was unfaithful to you, she was with HIM! THEY are to blame!"  
Listening to these words, he felt his rage so strongly his eyes turned yellow again. It was their faults, they betrayed him! But somehow, he wondered, something deep inside tugged at his heart. Did Padme really want him dead? Or even Obi-Wan? He couldn't let go of this feeling. There had to be something to it. He may have misjudged Padme in his anger, was it really as it appeared that night?  
Sidious snarled as he continued:  
"I sensed you were in danger, my apprentice. I went to look for you, and found you there, still smouldering, your strong young body only a piece of what it once was. THEY did this to you! I saved you!"

These memories came to Vader now. He recalled watching Obi-Wan turn and walk away as the flames consumed him. How could anyone, even an enemy, not put a person in this situation out of their misery? He did not help him, he did not show mercy. The pain was too intense for him to remember, the scene skipped to after the blaze was gone. His burned, broken, steaming body was in so much pain his brain was unable to register it strongly enough. He found himself awake, and wondered how this was possible. Had the force saved him, because of the prophecy? Quickly he turned away all thoughts of the Jedi, who had belittled and betrayed him. He had not betrayed them, he thought, it was them, they were wrong! Look what they'd done to him! He had found himself able to move, slightly, by using his still partially functioning mechanical hand to pull himself forward. Handfulls of sand slipped through as he moved very little. His burned body was suffering even more pain to be pulled along the rugged lava beds. Then he heard it.

Yes, he did hear something, it was people talking. Someone was there. Had Obi-Wan come back for him? He was in too much pain to concentrate hard enough to sense anyone through the force. He knew he'd just have to keep moving forward. He groaned in agony as his burned body rubbed against the rough ground, dragging along little at a time. Finally, he managed to reach the top of the ravine where he could see over the top of it. There, a distance ahead, was his master, his new master, Lord Sidious, Chancellor Palpatine. Vader felt such shame! He didn't want Sidious to see him like this, a beaten, mangled failure!

"I see something over there." One of the accompanying Clone troopers announced.  
With a moan, Vader purposely released his grip and let himself drop down. He landed flat on his back, and didn't care if he ever got up again. Before long, the black robed figure was standing over him, kneeling down, touching his forehead. Vader couldn't face him. He turned his head away.  
"He's still alive. Bring a medical frigate." Sidious ordered the troopers.

Vader didn't even have the strength to fight as he was placed on a stretcher. As a respirator was placed over his mouth, he realized how much better he could breathe- he was almost out of air from the ordeal of having to drag himself up the hill. Was that all it was? Sure it was, he'd be able to breathe well again soon. They were taking him to the med unit, and surely he'd have new limbs attached, all his scars would be healed, and he'd be back to his old self once again ready to get revenge and serve his master- and find Padme. Things were going to work out now. Or he'd die- which would be better, he wasn't even sure.

When they returned to Coruscant, Sidious led the way as his damaged apprentice was carried in by Clones on his stretcher. Wriggling in pain and uncertainty, he looked up at the sky and saw not stars, but rain. Rain? Coruscant had a self contained enviorment and it usually didn't rain here. What kind of sign was this? The cool droplets felt good on his burned skin. Sidious had saved him, he was his friend! The others didn't care if he died, but his master rescued him at his most desperate moment! For this, he owed him his devotion.

"Yes, my master." Vader bowed again before Sidious.  
The old Sith could sense only positive things coming from Vader in regards to himself, so he was satisfied. "Good, gooood! You may go now."  
Vader got up and returned to his chamber, safe in his feeling that Sidious suspected nothing about Luke. He was most grateful to Sidious for saving his life while the others had turned their backs on him, but he still didn't trust him, and didn't like being under him.

Again, the conflict came- he had him put in the suit. Was it the only option avaiable, was there something else that could have been done, or did he want him in the suit as a prison, to keep him from becoming more powerful? The way he used this to his advantage made Vader think this was the reason. So, who were his friends? If he was betrayed by those who 'loved' him most, and saved yet used by Sidious for his own gain, what should he feel? He felt no one loved him, so he loved no one else. Those who crossed his path would be quickly disposed of with no remorse. Love had failed, betrayed and harmed him. Though he did owe him his life, he knew Sidious was not his friend, and would dispose of him in a moment if he knew about Luke, a younger, healthier version of himself. Sidious was using him, everyone used him, no one cared what was best for him. There was nothing left for him to do but to find Luke, and hope that he would be able to bond with him and make everyone, even Sidious, pay for everything that had happened. This was his only goal now, and it would consume all his interests for the rest of his life until he succeeded.

Darth Vader stood gazing out the viewport at the stars. Just then, a flash of white, the Millenium Falcon, turned and shot past. "Luke." He said in his thoughts.  
"Father." Luke said, sitting straight up on his cot on Han's ship.  
"Luke, come with me, it is your destiny."  
Luke did not respond to his father. He waited for something. Then, he got it. "Ben, why didn't you tell me?"  
Vader was crushed. Even after he revealed his identity to Luke, he still didn't love him, didn't want him. That hurt.He watched the little white speck of a ship until it vanished into hyperspace, then stood staring for a few seconds at the spot where it had been. Luke was gone, again. He had found his son, and lost him, in more ways than one. He turned and walked away, ignoring the officers who feared for their lives. He was too lost in his private thoughts. Hands behind his back, he strode back to his chamber.

It had all happened so fast. Sidious finally finding out about Luke, having to pretend he didn't know, trying to spare Luke's life by telling his master he could turn Luke. He had finally seen and met his son for the first time, but he didn't get to treasure the moment, as the boy pulled a lightsaber and tried to kill him. Vader could play that game, too, igniting his lightsaber, which was not on until Luke lit up first. Vader immediately recognized the weapon- his own. The weapon he had used as his former self, Anakin Skywalker. After all those years, its blue crystal blade was still bright and beautiful. Only now, it was held in the hands of his son. His old Jedi Master had given his lightsaber to his own son, to use to kill him. He was surprised that Obi-Wan had sent Luke so soon, he did not yet possess the skill needed to defeat him. He pondered in his mind, if it came down to it, he might have to kill Luke. He was a much more experienced fighter, and there was no question he could take the boy. If he had to. Could he do that?

He decided it was best to preserve Luke, to freeze Luke for his journey to meet the master. The master thought this was his prize, but Vader thought it was his own prize, his son, the one who could help him destroy the monster who had ruined his life and still kept him enslaved to his every word and whim. Vader admitted being impressed at Luke's escape. Through the whole fight, he knew Luke didn't know who he was, and surely once he found out, he would not be against him. Vader regretted cutting off Luke's hand to end the fight. He hated himself that his rage had gotten the best of him again. But, the boy had it coming. Or did he? Of course he did. The conflict was there, tugging at his heart. As the young man's hand fell, it took with it the lightsaber that had been his own, the one Obi-Wan picked up as he left him to burn on Mustafar. The images flashed back in his mind, and his anger and pain grew greater. Obi-Wan had trained his son to kill him. Surely he hadn't told him what really happened to his father.

Then, finally, the revealation.

"Luke, I am your father."

This was supposed to make a difference. Luke didn't know. Now he did. His reaction deeply hurt Vader inside. He stood with his outstreched hand reaching out for his son, who chose possible death over it by intentionally allowing himself to fall. "He hates me that much, that he would rather die than join me?" Vader thought inside, not letting it show outwardly. He finally withdrew his hand. It had not been taken. He stared down the path of Luke's fall, sensing he was still alive. He turned to go find a way to follow him. As he walked, thoughts ran through his head. Obi-Wan! He hated Obi-Wan all over again. He had sent his own son to kill him, not even telling him who he was! So, old "Ben" told Luke that "Vader had killed his father." So that's why he was so anxious to kill him! What a foul plan! Did he and Yoda really feel it was too late for him, and that he must die??" At the hands of an innocent boy, his own son? But, even after finding out he was his father, he rejected him still. Was Darth Vader really that bad of a guy that his own son would not want to join him? This gave Vader a good reason for some inner soul searching, like it or not.

Vader sat in his chamber, waiting for the mechanical arms from the ceiling to remove his helmet. He then pulled off his mask himself, and rubbed his eyes. He had been crying. He covered his face with his artificial hands and sobbed. His son hated him. Everybody hated him. At that moment, he hated himself. It was getting harder for him to blame Sidious for all of his problems. Damn Sidious, if it weren't for the prison of the suit, and his control over it, and therefore his life, he'd have found a way to destroy him years ago. Now, his only hope was Luke. But Luke wanted nothing to do with him- except to kill him. Would Luke still want to kill him, now that he knew the truth? He would have to find some way to find Luke again.


	10. Chapter 10

Vader stood before Sidious in the throne room of the new, nearly completed Death Star. This one had taken a fraction of the time to rebuild, since they already had the experience of buildng the first one. The one that Luke Skywalker had destroyed. Though he was angry at this, and Sidious was even angrier at him, he couldn't help but feel proud. HIS son, part of him, was this great. Too bad he was using his power for the wrong reasons. He would have to change that. He needed Luke, to turn him to the dark side, for then and only then would his power be great enough to destroy Sidious, so that they, father and son, could rule the galaxy as Sith master and apprentice.

As Vader watched Sidious sit there, creepier and more sallow than ever, his yellow eyes glaring out of his dark hood, he felt his own hatred swell. Yes, this master had saved his life when others had turned on him. But he had more than repayed any debt to him, and the life he had lived for years was no better than death in some ways. He hated how he treated him, and how he was now trying to take his son from him. Vader had considered the fact that there can only be two Sith, so, if Luke were turned, one of them must go. Who is it going to be, the old worn out model, creaky and mechanical and lumbering, or the new, sleek, swift model? Luke was what Anakin had once been, with so much ability and potential for power. Vader knew there was no way Sidious would allow him to live if he had Luke, and no way he would allow Luke to live if he did not turn. Though this could not leave his mind, he did not speak of it, and wondered how it would all play out. Could there be three Sith? Could they change the rules? If there were to be only two, Vader would rather it be himself and his son.

Clenching his fists in anger and disgust at still having to bow before Sidious and ask his bidding, He glanced over and saw the opening of the deep reactor that led to the center of the Death Star. If anyone were to fall into that, they would be disentigrated at once. Just for a second, it crossed his mind, just how easy it might be to pick up the old bastard and just give him the old heave ho. Trying to hide this image in his mind from Sidious, he glanced at the reactor, and back at Sidious, and a smile cracked his scarred face beneath the mask. He turned and walked away.

Darth Vader sensed something in the shuttle that was trying to land on Endor. Staring up at it, he could sense his son. There was no question, he was on there. Not giving this news to anyone else, he gave the order to allow the shuttle to pass and land. He had him now. On the shuttle, Luke, whose Jedi skills were much improved since last facing his father, after spending much time in Obi-Wan's old hut learning the ways of the Jedi, could sense him, too. He felt he had endangered the mission, and later decided to turn himself over to Vader. While old Sidious had not felt Luke's presence, he did forsee that Luke would come to Vader. His compassion for his father would be his undoing, Sidious thought. Vader questioned just how much compassion Luke actually did have for him. Luke hated him. Luke wanted to kill him. Or did he? He would soon find out. A message came from the stormtroopers that a rebel had surrendered to him. Vader left to go and meet him on the forest moon.

By the time the meeting was arranged and ready, it was nearly dawn. Vader landed his shuttle and stood waiting on the platform for the AT-AT to arrive, carrying his son. He felt his heartbeat grow faster in anticipation as he watched it dock with the platform. He could sense Luke's presence very strongly now. The door opened, and Luke stepped out. As the stormtroopers spoke, Luke glared directly into his father's masked eyes with the most penetrating of stares. Vader returned this stare, though his eyes were covered, Luke could feel it. Neither said a word that would indicate to the stormtroopers Luke's true identity or significance. As far as they knew he was just a rebel. They didn't even know what a lightsaber was as they handed Luke's to their Dark Lord. When they were gone, and father and son were alone, they spoke.

"The Emperor has been waiting for you."

"I know, Father."

"So. You have accepted the truth."

"I have accepted the fact that you were once Anakin Skywalker, my father."

Vader was angry at the mention of the name. Angry because he denied that name, and he denied it because it wasn't him. Not anymore. He shook th elightsaber at Luke.

"That name no longer has any meaning to me."

"It's the name of your true self, you've only forgotten! There is good in you, I can feel it. The Emperor hasn't driven it from you fully."

These words struck hard at Vader, because he knew they were true. But like his name, he denied them, though he wasn't even sure why. He could sense from Luke's words and expression that he indeed did feel the conflict within him, and it was there.He tried to play hard, and not let it show, but somehow Luke was sensing this anyway. He was a strong Jedi, taught well by Obi-Wan, and just as Sidious had foreseen. When Luke, blue eyes so sincere and full of love, asked him to come away with him, he turned away. Could he? Was this possible, after all this time? Then his heart sank.

"No. It is too late for me, son." Vader felt taunted by Luke's bold words that he had not been able to destroy him before and would not take him before the Emperor now. This enraged him, for the dark side still owned him. He had to show the impetuous, arrogant young boy a few things. He did indeed let his anger and pride overtake him, and he turned his own son over to be taken before Sidious. Upon hearing the news, Luke's eyes gazed sadly at Vader, and he shook his head.

"Then my father is truly dead."

These words hurt Vader. He couldn't deny this, not even to himself. He stood, silent and motionless, as he watched Luke being taken away. Luke stared, no, glared, at him until the doors closed and he was gone. Then Vader, after no one could see him, ran to the railing, bent over the side, and broke down. Luke's words, and face, haunted him deeply. Why, why am I this way? Why did I do it? He's such a good boy, and he...cared for me. I ...hate... myself... He couldn't control this emotion. Inside his mask, he was weeping.

By the time Vader had made it back to the Death Star, he had allowed his rage to return. His tearful blue eyes turned yellow again. This arrogant boy, how dare he come here to fight me, and think he could just change my mind and take me away? He is such a fool, he doesn't know the power of the dark side! He had a small amount of training, and now considered himself a Jedi? What a farce! The Jedi, whose own arrogance and shallow minded dogmatic view had been their undoing. Now Obi-Wan, his old friend turned enemy, had trained this son to seek out and destroy his father. He will have quite a few things to learn when he faces his new master! He thought these things, but inside, his heart was aching for the young man with his hands in shackles, held prisoner until he could be taken before Sidious.Vader would be there when this meeting took place.

Together they walked, side by side, father and son, and stopped in front of Sidious. Sith Lord and Master. Galactic Emperor. Supreme power holder of the force, and the government. Who was this boy, this 'Jedi', this rebel, who opposed everything his father stood for? Vader's emotions were swirling now. He looked upon Sidious again, his withered hands on the arms of his throne, his hideous face and yellow eyes shadowed by his dark hood, and he once again felt contempt for him, resentment at the lies he had told him, and the miserable life he had lived under him as his slave. Yes, he had power, but what good was it when you still must answer to Sidious, or anyone he favored? Even that fool Tarkin! Yes, his anger at Sidious was great, and he wanted him gone. But then again, he was annoyed by Luke's sheer arrogance, and his attitude, that he could just walk right in here and talk to the master this way? Vader didn't know what to do.

"You want this? Gooood. I can feel your anger. Strike me down with all your hatred and your journey to the dark side will be complete!"

When Sidious finally succeeded in drawing out the boy's rage until he called his lightsaber to him, ignited it, and in a split second, held it above the old Sith, ready to strike. In another split second, Vader appeared out of nowhere, lit his, and blocked Luke's blow. Immediately, he questioned himself. Why? WHY didn't I just let the boy take out the old... This feeling, as much as he tried to cloud it with his own dark side, was made a bit stronger when he saw the evil grin on Sidioius's face, and heard his sinster cackle. He LOVED it! This is what he wanted, a fight between father and son, to the death, to see who would stand at his side. Vader couldn't help but sense that Sidious was hoping Luke would win, so that he could have a younger, stronger apprentice. Vader recalled how Sidious had done this with him and Dooku, and now it had come back to haunt him as he was on the other end of it. Indeed, this was about to take place.

Vader's emotions were very torn now. Why would he bother to defend a master who wanted him dead? Still, he was a Sith Lord, and the Jedi must not be allowed to defeat the master! The Jedi, who had not appreciated him, who had scorned him, betrayed him, the Jedi, who had tried to kill him! His own son was brainwashed by Obi-Wan and probably Yoda too to believe he was bad and needed to be killed...yet, he had offered him peace. He was sent to kill him, yet wanted to save him. But he didn't need to be 'saved', not by a Jedi! Who does this boy think he is? Oh... the son of another arrogant young man who thought he knew it all. This softened him a bit, but still his rage tore at him, Luke's purpose, how dare he even challenge him...but why not do it now, turn him on Sidious? Isn't this what he wanted? Ah, but he is not a Sith, he will not rule the galaxy. He is a Jedi, if he cannot be turned...he knew what this meant. Was he prepared to kill his own son? Was the son prepared to kill his own father?

"I can feel the conflict within you."

"There is no conflict!"

His mouth said it, his voice moduator projected it menacingly, but he didn't mean it. Not really. Of course there was conflict. It was tearing him up inside. Luke could sense this. He was much stronger in the force than he had been at their last meeting. Vader felt proud, yet he also feared it. He feared being defeated in a battle to the death, and he feared something else- he feared Luke was right.

next - the conclusion


	11. Chapter 11

XI

Vader could hardly believe how bad things had become. Luke refusing to fight, and him tossing his lightsaber at him. Luke turning his lightsaber off, and Vader attacking, telling him how unwise he was to lower his defenses. Then it came to stalking around looking for him in the dark passages of the throne room of the Death Star, telling him he could not hide forever. He had to prove to Luke that there was no conflict, he was wrong, he had no 'good', no 'Jedi' left in him. He must turn this boy to the dark side, or, he would have to be destroyed.

While searching his own thoughts, Vader also intercepted some of Luke's. Luke could feel his father's power penatrating his mind, and he closed his eyes and used all his own concentration to fight it. He wasn't strong enough. His greatest secret and deepest feelings had been tapped and stolen. Vader's enraged mind barely had time to process this information. So the arrogant young "Princess" was actually his own daughter! That rotten Bail Organa had stole her as Obi-Wan had stole his son! He was so furious now, his rage was boiling over.It gave him power. Dark power.

_"Sister? So. You have a twin sister! Your feelings have now betrayed her, too. If you will not turn to the dark side, perhaps...she...WILL!" _

With a painful, furious scream, the young Jedi, the son of Anakin Skywalker, jumped to his feet from his hiding place, lightsaber weilded high and ready. With all his own anger, he attacked his father full force. He would not get to Leia, he would not turn her, he would not turn anyone. He must be stopped now. Luke had tried with all his heart to turn his father back, but now he knew what Obi-Wan and Yoda had meant- the good man had been destroyed by Darth Vader. Darth Vader must be destroyed. Though, in doing so, he knew that every moment of this rage took him closer to the dark side himself. Finally, the older man was broken down, his mechanical legs giving way beneath him, his right hand, metal though it was, was severed, and fell, lightsaber and all, far below. Vader lay there, panting, too feeble to move, looking up at the hate in the eyes of his son. His son hated him. Now, he knew he was done for. He had been defeated, and would soon be dead. Luke would take his place at Sidious's side. Vader now regretted not letting Luke kill Sidious, and he also regretted not taking him up on his offer to come away with him. Now, it was too late. His end had come.

Sidious slowly slithered down to be near his new prize, cackling and gloating. "Gooood, goood! Your hate has made you strong! Now, fulfill your destiny, and take your father's place at my side!"

Vader was certain his death at the hands of Luke would come within seconds. Then, something happened that Vader did not expect. But, maybe, he should have. Luke rejected the offer.He turned off his lightsaber, and threw it down.

"Never. I'll never turn to the dark side. You've failed, your highness. I'm a Jedi. Like my father before me."

Like my father before me. Vader was put to shame. Luke had fought for, and won, the highest honor in the galaxy. Yet he rejected it. He had taken the moral high ground. Vader thought back to his own past, his own turn, and felt so sorry for what he had done, and the way things had turned out. He looked at the proud, handsome young face and bright blue eyes of his son, and was reminded of himself at that age. How different things could have been. What a fool had been. If only there was some way to make it right. Then, no, the conflict came again. Stupid fool, he thought. Luke was throwing away power and greatness with both hands! He had rejected the dark side, for what, the Jedi? What was right? In his weakend physical condition, the conflict in his mind was even harder on him.

"So be it, "Jedi." If you will not be turned, then you will be destroyed!"

Vader watched helplessly as Sidious released force lightning with both hands into his son. Having already tossed away hiweapon, he was helpless to defend against it. He fell to the ground writheing in pain. Sidious's face grew even moreand evil as he unleashed more and stronger lightning. Then, he stopped for a moment. There was a brief pause. He wanted Luke to be in full possession of his mind and senses to understand what was about to happen, and why.

"And now, Young Skywalker, you will die!"

He then tore into the young body with his strongest lightning yet. Vader had managed to pull himself up and to his master's side. He looked at his son, and thought how ironic it was him who was going to die now, after he felt his own death so inevitable. Luke had indeed paid the price. Vader stood there watching, not making a move to stop the old master.

"Father, PLEASE!" Begged the boy, his teeth lined with blue streaks of the electricity tearing through his body. Vader knew that if this continued, Luke would be dead soon. Was Sidious really going to kill him, or was he only trying to teach him a lesson? Vader soon became convinced Sidious did aim to kill Luke. He asked himself if he was going to let him. He thought of Luke, what a good boy he was, how he had cared for him and tried to save him when everyone else thought all hope of that was long gone.

As Vader stared down at the young man, his own son, begging him for his life, his heart felt something it hadn't felt in many years. Something it had tried to hide, something it had denied existed anymore.

LOVE.

"_Something wonderful has happened! Ani, I'm pregnant_!" Her face at that moment filled his mind. His feelings at that moment, the joy of learning his beloved wife was carrying their child, filled him again. He looked at Luke's face. He looked back at Sidious's face. Images of Padme, the feel of her love, like she was right there somehow, such a strong image of her face and her body, the entire feel of her, came over him as he stared at Luke. Like an echo from the past, the love brought him back. Padme. Padme's son. THEIR son. LOVE.

He looked at Luke. He looked at Sidious.

There was no more conflict.

Anakin Skywalker turned, and as he had secretly fantasized before, he picked up the withered old Sith Master, held him high above his head, and tossed him down into the reactor. Screaming, Sidious was too weak, having concentrated all of his power into his Sith lightning, to fight back, or even form words. He hung on with one arm as he watched the blue flames shoot up from where the body disentigrated. Poof. He was gone. All of those years of being lied to and being used and treated like a slave were over.

But sadly, he realized he would not live to enjoy his freedom. Gasping, he collapsed to the ground, almost unable to move. His son, rescued in time and still perfectly healthy, rushed to his side. "Father" he said, taking his left hand in his. Anakin didn't answer, he only looked up at Luke with love, and smiled. Then he realized that he was wearing the mask, and Luke couldn't see his eyes or his mouth. As sirens wailed, Luke did his best to try to drag his much larger father to his shuttle so they could escape. Luke knew his rebel friends would soon succeed in destroying the Death Star, and they had to be off of it. The burden was too much, and at last Luke had to lay his father down for a rest.

"Luke, help me take this mask off."

Luke looked shocked. "But you'll die!"

"Nothing can stop that now. Just for once, let me look on you with my own eyes." Anakin so badly wanted to see Luke without the mask stifling his vision, and he also wanted Luke to look upon his own face, and see his feelings expressed on his face. This would be the only chance he had. As much as Anakin and Vader had feared death, it didn't matter now, it seemed almost like a release, and freedom at last. With the hateful mask off, Anakin focused his blue eyes on Luke's own blue eyes, and his handsome young face. He was so good, everything good about himself, and Padme. This boy was a blessing and a gift to the galaxy. He was so happy to get to make his peace with him, so sad he had missed time with him he could now never make up. Desperately, he felt his own breath leaving him, his suit's mechanisms were broken, and he would die soon. There was so much more he wanted to say, sorry, I love you, tales of the past, of Padme...wishes for the future. But it was too late. He felt his mind fading fast, but he didn't want to go. He looked at Luke again, staring, blinking, as long as he could, not wanting to close his eyes. Finally, with a gasp, the end came. The blue eyes closed, the head fell back. Luke's dropped in mourning. Anakin Skywalker was gone. He had finally fulfilled the prophecy, and died the hero, the Chosen One, he was always meant to be.

Luke sat silently for a few minutes in reverence and grief, not wanting to move. Then he realized he had to get off the Death Star, so he got up, used all his remaining strength after his ordeal to drag his father's lifeless body, suit and all, to his shuttle. He calmly flew the shuttle off the Death Star just as it exploded. Below, there was much joy on Endor. For Luke, victory was bittersweet. All the rest of the day, as the others celebrated and returned happy, he built a funeral pyre. Just as night had fallen, he lit the fire, and watched in pain as the flames overtook the black form. This was the traditional Jedi burial, and Anakin, having returned to the Jedi before he died, deserved this. Luke watched as the smoke spilled out the cracks of the mask and raised high into the air, clouding the immediate area and mixing with the celebratory fireworks above. Free at last, the spirit of Anakin Skywalker flew away from his ravaged body, out of the suit, and into the sky. It sailed through the galaxy, over celebrations on many planets, including his own homeworld, setting them all free. As free as he now was.

Luke finally ran to meet the others, happily celebrating with Han, Lando, Chewbacca, Wedge and the droids, and, at last, with a special look of love and stories to share, Leia. Then, he pulled from her grasp, and stared into the forest. With a smile on his face, the original, real face of Anakin Skywalker, restored as if he had never turned- he looked over and saw them- Yoda, Obi-Wan, and, wait, was it? Yes! It was his father! He looked so happy to be there! His hands, yes his hands, not metal ones, flew up in surprise as he looked down at his body, his restored body, dressed in full Jedi robes. He briefly turned to look at Obi-Wan, who was giving him the most peaceful and satisfied smile. Yoda smiled, too, and nodded. It was okay now. They had not expected this, but maybe they should have, knowing Luke. None of these spirits spoke, there would be an eternity to do that! For now, they only gazed lovingly and proudly at the young Jedi who had saved the galaxy, and saved his father.

They all stared for the longest time, and Luke was filled with joy in knowing that his father really had been saved, and that he would be able to find his peace in the afterlife. He recalled what Obi-Wan had once told him: "The force will be with you, always." It was true, more true than he could ever have known at the time. Now it was up to him, the last of the Jedi, to set out to make things right again. He could do it, and he would. He was a Jedi, like his father before him.

Finally, with one last loving glance exchanged between them, Luke turned to go rejoin the celebration. The spirits faded in their manifested form, but did not go. They were there, surrounding everyone with love, a love that was very strong and powerful.

A love that was very strong and powerful could not die, could it? In his new form, wiser, stronger, more powerful, totally at peace, Anakin's love reached out for the answer and found it. He passed through a mist alone, away from the other spirits, and found what he had been looking for. She was just as beautiful as she ever was, standing there in her blue velvet gown she had been sadly put to rest in when she should never have died. They were together again, in ghostly form looking as they had in life, and their love glowing all around. As good as this was, it would never take the place of all that was lost. A lot of things shouldn't have happened, but they had. The only thing that could be done now, was to try to make them right, in some way. Luke had done that, and he would continue to. Anakin had not even known about force spirits until he was one, and now he knew that he would live on this way, and Obi-Wan and Yoda, and though he wasn't here just now, he sensed Qui-Gon among them, too. Love had saved Anakin, and that love was from Padme. While he knew that only Jedi were allowed this gift of eternal life, his love for Padme in his infinite glory had saved her- finally. Now his peace and happiness were complete. Together, they stared and smiled through the branches of the forest at their twins, Luke and Leia.

(note: I tried to post the link to a picture of Anakin and Padme's ghosts but the site won't allow it to show up. So please imagine ROTS Anakin and Padme smiling at the twins!)

THE END


End file.
